So, my poor child is sick. I'm not sure what's wrong. She's got a fever, runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing, occasional (rare) coughing. I figure it's a cold or something, but i'm going to look it up on webmd.com. According to her symptoms, she's got a cold. There's some pretty interesting statistics in here. You cn find more in-depth information by going to the website and looking up "the common cold".
What Is a Common Cold?
The common cold is a group of symptoms in the upper respiratory tract caused by a large number of different viruses. Although more than 200 viruses can cause the common cold, the perpetrator is usually the rhinovirus, which is to blame for causing 10% to 40% of colds. Also, the coronaviruses cause about 20% of colds and the respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) causes 10% of colds.
The rhinovirus (or other cold virus) enters your body through your nose or mouth and is easily spread when you touch someone or touch common objects (the computer keyboard or mouse, the telephone receiver, a doorknob, or eating utensils). If you aren't cautious about hand washing, you can spread the common cold to family, friends, co-workers, and people you've never met at a restaurant or the supermarket.
What Causes a Common Cold?
While getting chilled or wet is not a cause of common colds, there are factors that make you more susceptible to catching a cold virus. For example, you are more likely to catch a common cold if you are excessively fatigued, have emotional distress, or have allergies with nose and throat symptoms.
How a Common Cold Starts
With a common cold, you catch the virus from another person who is infected with the virus. This usually happens by touching a surface contaminated with cold germs and then touching your nose or mouth. You can also catch a cold by encountering secretions someone has sneezed into the air.
A cold begins when a cold virus attaches to the lining of your nose or throat. Your immune system sends white blood cells out to attack this germ. Unless you've encountered that exact strain of the virus before, the initial attack fails and your body sends in reinforcements. Your nose and throat get inflamed and produce a lot of mucus. With so much of your body's energy directed at fighting the cold virus, you're left feeling tired and miserable.
Although the common cold is usually mild, it is a leading cause of doctor visits and missed days from school and work. According to the CDC, 22 million school days are lost annually in the U.S. because of the common cold. Some estimates state that Americans suffer 1 billion colds annually.
Common Cold Symptoms
With the common cold, you may have cold symptoms such as an itching or sore throat with sneezing, nasal congestion, watery eyes, and mucus drainage. More severe symptoms, such as high fever or muscle aches, may indicate you may have the flu and not a cold.
Kids and Common Colds
Children have about five to seven colds per year. A key reason why colds are so common in children is because kids spend time at school or in day care centers where they are in close contact with other kids most of the day. Another reason is kids have not developed as strong an immune system against colds. In families with children in school, the number of colds per child can be as high as 12 annually. Adults average about 2 or 3 colds a year, although the range varies widely. Women, especially those 20 to 30 years old, have more colds than men, possibly because of their closer contact with children. On average, people older than 60 have less than one cold a year.
Preparing for Cold Season
In the United States, most colds occur during the fall and winter. Beginning in late August or early September, the rate of colds increases slowly for a few weeks and remains high until March or April, when it declines. The seasonal variation may relate to the opening of schools and to cold weather, which prompt people to spend more time indoors and increase the chances that viruses will spread.
Seasonal changes in relative humidity also may affect the prevalence of colds. The most common cold-causing viruses survive better when humidity is low -- the colder months of the year. Cold weather also may make the inside lining of your nose drier and more vulnerable to viral infection.
When to Call the Doctor About a Cold
Remember, common colds are viral, not bacterial. Yet many people still ask their doctors for antibiotics when they experience common cold misery. Antibiotics kill bacteria, not viruses. Antibiotics cannot help a viral infection like a cold.
While most colds last about seven to 10 days, if your symptoms continue, you may need to call the doctor. Sometimes common colds can lead to bacterial infections in your lungs, sinuses, or ears that require medical treatment such as antibiotics.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Future Baby Names
So, I'm hoping that one day soon, Chance and I will be able to have another child. So I need to think of some names for them. Chance wants to name the next child, but I can't sit back and let that happen. I think we should share the naming. I know that Shayla kinda got hers the moment I knew I was pregnant, but in my defense, I saw her coming and I already knew what her name was before I had her. I haven't seen another child coming, so I'm not sure if this means I'm not having another one yet, or this one is just gonna be a surprise, lol. I'm not sure I like my children surprising me.
Shay's name is actually Irish, as is the Dobbs name, and I kind of want my next child to continue that theme.
Here's a few of what I was thinking of.
bold = a definite Favorite
* = one Chance likes too (maybe kinda, lol)
Italics = Favorite as a Middle Name
Girl Names:
Cassandra** (Middle name includes Rayne, May, Rae, Ann(e))
Rachael Lynn
Alexandra
Anastasia (I adore it but I doubt Chance would let me because of the Cartoon movie)
Alexia (Lexi for short)
Alexia Gale
Cassandra Gale
Boy Names:
Alexander Lyle (or Xander Lyle)
Aurthur (I can't find a middle name that matches, but I like Lloyd or Kyle..kinda)
Brennon Gale (but Chance will probably not like it cuz Gale is girlish)
Lucas Kyle (Brennon Lucas is acceptable as well)
Tobias Michael (But I dunno if Chance will let me use Michael since it's his middle name)
Tobias Kyle
Shay's name is actually Irish, as is the Dobbs name, and I kind of want my next child to continue that theme.
Here's a few of what I was thinking of.
bold = a definite Favorite
* = one Chance likes too (maybe kinda, lol)
Italics = Favorite as a Middle Name
Girl Names:
Cassandra** (Middle name includes Rayne, May, Rae, Ann(e))
Rachael Lynn
Alexandra
Anastasia (I adore it but I doubt Chance would let me because of the Cartoon movie)
Alexia (Lexi for short)
Alexia Gale
Cassandra Gale
Boy Names:
Alexander Lyle (or Xander Lyle)
Aurthur (I can't find a middle name that matches, but I like Lloyd or Kyle..kinda)
Brennon Gale (but Chance will probably not like it cuz Gale is girlish)
Lucas Kyle (Brennon Lucas is acceptable as well)
Tobias Michael (But I dunno if Chance will let me use Michael since it's his middle name)
Tobias Kyle
Homophobic? I think not.
So, I saw this today with a "re-post this if you think homophobia is wrong" message. So, i'm re-posting this. But not on facebook or gaia, because I don't like stirring shit despite my beliefs. Everyone knows my beliefs and I'm not going to shove it in their faces, nor do they shove theirs in mine. Well, these stupid 're-post this if you this" things kinda do. But I'm mainly posting this because, in my own weird way, I think whoever wrote this did a wonderful job. Its absolutely amazing. Its so very touching, and brought a tear almost to my eye. I'm too tired and medicated for real tears, but had I not been, there would have been a few tears. All the ugliness in the world bothers me, truly it does. I'm raising my daughter to be as tolerant as I possibly can, but with all these other influences on her, and people who throw out racist comments and then holler at me "I'm not racist" when I confront them, I dunno how I can make her tolerant of anything but stupidity. However, if that's the best I can do....then so be it.
I'm the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I'm a lesbian.
I'm the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I'm the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents that buried her daughter long before her time.
I'm the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I'm the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I ever had, I wish they could adopt me.
I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will be able to walk again.
I'm not one of the lucky ones, I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I'm the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I'm the mother who is not allowed to even visit the child I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says that I'm a unfit mother because I live with another woman now.
I'm the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out that my abusive partner is also a woman.
I'm the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I'm a male.
I'm the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I'm the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I'm the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized that I was transsexual.
I'm the person feeling guilty because I think I can be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with the society hating me.
I'm the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind.
I'm the person who has to hide what this world needs the most, Love.
I'm the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
--Unknown
I'm the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I'm a lesbian.
I'm the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I'm the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents that buried her daughter long before her time.
I'm the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I'm the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I ever had, I wish they could adopt me.
I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will be able to walk again.
I'm not one of the lucky ones, I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I'm the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I'm the mother who is not allowed to even visit the child I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says that I'm a unfit mother because I live with another woman now.
I'm the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out that my abusive partner is also a woman.
I'm the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I'm a male.
I'm the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I'm the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I'm the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized that I was transsexual.
I'm the person feeling guilty because I think I can be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with the society hating me.
I'm the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind.
I'm the person who has to hide what this world needs the most, Love.
I'm the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
--Unknown
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
TxSub
So, this Texas Burger/Subway job is working out fairly well, so far. Its not hard to learn, and its enjoyable enough. The people I'm not so fond of, but that, I'm sure, will change with time. I just don't see anything of value in people who won't even take time to learn my name, and call me "Sheila" of all things. Its not so bad when they call me by my mom's name though. I can't tell if they're just kidding around or what.
As far as jobs go, this one isn't any better or worse than any other job I've had. Sadly, and I never though I'd say this, but I'm missing Arby's like crazy. Its not the work so much, although at Arby's I could stand around in the DT and not be seen by customers or managers and slack off easier. I can go stand outside for an hour here and not even be noticed. I think that's what's bothering me. I liked Arby's because the employees were friendly. Even though it was just a "let's get through this day because none of us really wanna be here" friendliness, I actually succeeded in making real friends with several of my co-workers at Arby's. I don't see that happening at Subway/Texas Burger.
It's mostly women there. I work better with guys because they're usually friendlier. And no, not just because I have boobs, although those can help make friends. Men don't have the same hostilities that women have. Women hate each other for so many reasons. And some of these women at TxSub are like, surly as hell. I'm like "Hey guys, how are you!" and they're like "ugh." or snapping or scolding or bossing me around. I don't think it's just because I'm a trainee, but that's possible. Some of these women have me scared to ask questions because they're so.....mean. I don't think there's any other word for it. They're hostile to me, to customers, to each other. I just don't see this as a conducive working environment. I also don't see myself finding another job in Centerville, especially not one that pays more than minimum wage. I think, though, if I knew what I was going to be working with, I would have stayed in The Woodlands. Screw the money we save on gas and whatnot.
I think maybe I'll just float along, stay out from underfoot, and try not to cry when I get snapped at, and I'll be fine.
On a side-note, I made sandwiches for Megan Knight Asby today. She looked as good as ever, and was sweet. Sadly, her kindness and smile totally made my day. Its not like I was having a bad day, I was just stressed, and I hate the attitudes of my fellow coworkers. I think the attitudes are all wrong for fast-food. I would say it's just because I was 'trained' in a big city and whatnot, but in this kind of customer service, you want repeat customers, and that comes through customer service. You want them coming back because they liked the people and we made them feel welcome, not because it's the only healthy-eating place in town or something stupid like that. I mean, I feel like it's bad to jump on someone in front of customers. You should take them to the side and politely correct them, not chew them out in front of God and everyone. I don't think any of their attitudes should be excused because it's a small town and we're all rednecks or hillbillies or white trash or ghetto or whatever else excuses people can think of. Country or city, everyone needs manners and common courtesy. Its just....decent. I'm not sure anyone I work with know's how to be decent, except Ms. Renee, Sarah and Brandon. Even they have their moods though. They're the only ones I'm really fond of right now. Amber...I think I like. But she's been sick, so I can't really tell how it's affecting her personality. It's going to take some time to form an opinion on her. As for the others, for the most part, I'm not terribly fond of them. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike them. But they're not my top choices of who I would save if TxSub went up in flames. (I'd save them if they were the only ones there, of course. Because that's the decent thing to do.) I will, however, continue to be polite, yes ma'am and no ma'am them, and if my semblance of respect gets me nowhere, then so be it. But I refuse to be surly or unkind to anyone. It just isn't right. And, hey, as long as I don't get super-pissed, everything will be fine. If I'm here for like, a year and I can't get a single bit of respect or decency from then, then shit might go down.
I can't believe Megan's boy is already a year old. I've only seen his pics of facebook, but he's so adorable! I sincerely hope he grows up to be as much of a looker as his family is. Both his parents, their siblings, and their parents are all a good-looking family. I think that Megan and Marcus are a good match. They're great people. Truly very blessed. I wish them the best for their children. They're gonna have some stunners, lol. (I hope my Shay can land a boy as good-lookin as Jr Asby is, lol. She's so pretty. I dunno how it happened....Her daddy and I are both...not ugly. I know that Chance can be good-lookin as hell when he shaves and cleans up. Lots of people have told me so. And i've been told i'm cute. But I don't see how, combined, we got such an incredibly beautiful child. That's so not even a biased opinion. I've never met someone who didn't say she was gorgeous or beautiful. She's never been called 'cute.' Chance says cute is what people say when they don't wanna tell you that your kid is ugly or creepy-looking, lol! :P I guess I can only hope my grandkids will be as gorgeous as my kid is, lol!)
So now, it's late, Shayla finally fell asleep, and my train of thought jumped tracks like...20 times in this entry. So I guess that makes it bed time. Yay!
Night all~
As far as jobs go, this one isn't any better or worse than any other job I've had. Sadly, and I never though I'd say this, but I'm missing Arby's like crazy. Its not the work so much, although at Arby's I could stand around in the DT and not be seen by customers or managers and slack off easier. I can go stand outside for an hour here and not even be noticed. I think that's what's bothering me. I liked Arby's because the employees were friendly. Even though it was just a "let's get through this day because none of us really wanna be here" friendliness, I actually succeeded in making real friends with several of my co-workers at Arby's. I don't see that happening at Subway/Texas Burger.
It's mostly women there. I work better with guys because they're usually friendlier. And no, not just because I have boobs, although those can help make friends. Men don't have the same hostilities that women have. Women hate each other for so many reasons. And some of these women at TxSub are like, surly as hell. I'm like "Hey guys, how are you!" and they're like "ugh." or snapping or scolding or bossing me around. I don't think it's just because I'm a trainee, but that's possible. Some of these women have me scared to ask questions because they're so.....mean. I don't think there's any other word for it. They're hostile to me, to customers, to each other. I just don't see this as a conducive working environment. I also don't see myself finding another job in Centerville, especially not one that pays more than minimum wage. I think, though, if I knew what I was going to be working with, I would have stayed in The Woodlands. Screw the money we save on gas and whatnot.
I think maybe I'll just float along, stay out from underfoot, and try not to cry when I get snapped at, and I'll be fine.
On a side-note, I made sandwiches for Megan Knight Asby today. She looked as good as ever, and was sweet. Sadly, her kindness and smile totally made my day. Its not like I was having a bad day, I was just stressed, and I hate the attitudes of my fellow coworkers. I think the attitudes are all wrong for fast-food. I would say it's just because I was 'trained' in a big city and whatnot, but in this kind of customer service, you want repeat customers, and that comes through customer service. You want them coming back because they liked the people and we made them feel welcome, not because it's the only healthy-eating place in town or something stupid like that. I mean, I feel like it's bad to jump on someone in front of customers. You should take them to the side and politely correct them, not chew them out in front of God and everyone. I don't think any of their attitudes should be excused because it's a small town and we're all rednecks or hillbillies or white trash or ghetto or whatever else excuses people can think of. Country or city, everyone needs manners and common courtesy. Its just....decent. I'm not sure anyone I work with know's how to be decent, except Ms. Renee, Sarah and Brandon. Even they have their moods though. They're the only ones I'm really fond of right now. Amber...I think I like. But she's been sick, so I can't really tell how it's affecting her personality. It's going to take some time to form an opinion on her. As for the others, for the most part, I'm not terribly fond of them. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike them. But they're not my top choices of who I would save if TxSub went up in flames. (I'd save them if they were the only ones there, of course. Because that's the decent thing to do.) I will, however, continue to be polite, yes ma'am and no ma'am them, and if my semblance of respect gets me nowhere, then so be it. But I refuse to be surly or unkind to anyone. It just isn't right. And, hey, as long as I don't get super-pissed, everything will be fine. If I'm here for like, a year and I can't get a single bit of respect or decency from then, then shit might go down.
I can't believe Megan's boy is already a year old. I've only seen his pics of facebook, but he's so adorable! I sincerely hope he grows up to be as much of a looker as his family is. Both his parents, their siblings, and their parents are all a good-looking family. I think that Megan and Marcus are a good match. They're great people. Truly very blessed. I wish them the best for their children. They're gonna have some stunners, lol. (I hope my Shay can land a boy as good-lookin as Jr Asby is, lol. She's so pretty. I dunno how it happened....Her daddy and I are both...not ugly. I know that Chance can be good-lookin as hell when he shaves and cleans up. Lots of people have told me so. And i've been told i'm cute. But I don't see how, combined, we got such an incredibly beautiful child. That's so not even a biased opinion. I've never met someone who didn't say she was gorgeous or beautiful. She's never been called 'cute.' Chance says cute is what people say when they don't wanna tell you that your kid is ugly or creepy-looking, lol! :P I guess I can only hope my grandkids will be as gorgeous as my kid is, lol!)
So now, it's late, Shayla finally fell asleep, and my train of thought jumped tracks like...20 times in this entry. So I guess that makes it bed time. Yay!
Night all~
Moving and Money
So, after everything we went through to get me and Shayla living up here again with Chance, so that we could live on our own and be our own little family, my mother wants us to come live with her at the ranch so we can save money. I was like "orly? Are you kidding me? I mean, look at everything we did so we could be together, so we could live up here with Chance in our own little house. You want us to come live with you?" Sure, it'll save us $250 a month rent (maybe), and the $80-120 a month phone/internet bill (maybe). We might have to keep paying those anyway because Chance's mom can't afford to. That's the whole reason we're still here anyway. Chance is helping his mom. We pay rent so she can afford to pay the full note on the house (which is like $600 not counting insurance, which is even more) and we pay the phone bill so that the foster people can contact her and continue thinking she's living here with the foster kids instead of at that camp-house thing they're building, because that thing definitely wouldn't be legal for the foster kid program thing.
I mean, despite the fact that they got rid of the mold, the mice, and most of the mess, I just don't want to live with that many people. Its ridiculous. My parents, my 2 sisters, Shayla, Chance, and me? That's like way too many people. Plus, I know my family well enough to know that, despite what they say, they didn't change their ways. Mom and Dad will probably fight. My sisters will fight. Plus, it will just go to shit again. No one will want to cook or clean up after themselves. I just don't want to be in that situation again. It sucked the first time, and I know it'll suck again.
Plus, I didn't move away from living with one set of parents to live with another, even if they are mine and not my in-laws. Not that I don't love them all.
I mean, despite the fact that they got rid of the mold, the mice, and most of the mess, I just don't want to live with that many people. Its ridiculous. My parents, my 2 sisters, Shayla, Chance, and me? That's like way too many people. Plus, I know my family well enough to know that, despite what they say, they didn't change their ways. Mom and Dad will probably fight. My sisters will fight. Plus, it will just go to shit again. No one will want to cook or clean up after themselves. I just don't want to be in that situation again. It sucked the first time, and I know it'll suck again.
Plus, I didn't move away from living with one set of parents to live with another, even if they are mine and not my in-laws. Not that I don't love them all.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Education in America
I personally feel that American children don't appreciate the education they are privileged to. In America, kids are forced to go to school, and (at public schools) they don't have to pay for their educations. Parents get in trouble if kids don't attend. They get reported for truancy.
In other countries, children aren't as privileged. My knowledge may be limited, but from what i've been told, American children are some of the luckiest students in the world. Their educations (through high school graduation) is free, and there are many grants and scholarships available for students to enter university. (Not saying that other countries don't offer those same amenities.)
In many impoverished countries, children don't get much more than (what is equivalent to) a 3rd or 4th grade education. Some children don't get to go to school ever. The only thing that helps those children is church missions and those foundations that are always advertising for money to sponsor a child in those late-night infomercials. (Not that they don't do good work, of course.)
In countries like Japan, children have testing to enter high school. If they don't score in a certain percentile, they don't get to continue their educations and have to enter the workforce, where the jobs aren't as good and the pay isn't as nice.
In other countries, such as Australia, high school students have to pay for their educations. There is grants and such offered to them, for lower-income families, but the point is, students still have to pay to continue their educations and graduate high school.
It's just ridiculous to me that American children take for granted what other children work so hard for. There's children that fluff off in school and go to college and blow their parents' money partying. Its a sad thing that they don't understand what they're throwing away.
In other countries, children aren't as privileged. My knowledge may be limited, but from what i've been told, American children are some of the luckiest students in the world. Their educations (through high school graduation) is free, and there are many grants and scholarships available for students to enter university. (Not saying that other countries don't offer those same amenities.)
In many impoverished countries, children don't get much more than (what is equivalent to) a 3rd or 4th grade education. Some children don't get to go to school ever. The only thing that helps those children is church missions and those foundations that are always advertising for money to sponsor a child in those late-night infomercials. (Not that they don't do good work, of course.)
In countries like Japan, children have testing to enter high school. If they don't score in a certain percentile, they don't get to continue their educations and have to enter the workforce, where the jobs aren't as good and the pay isn't as nice.
In other countries, such as Australia, high school students have to pay for their educations. There is grants and such offered to them, for lower-income families, but the point is, students still have to pay to continue their educations and graduate high school.
It's just ridiculous to me that American children take for granted what other children work so hard for. There's children that fluff off in school and go to college and blow their parents' money partying. Its a sad thing that they don't understand what they're throwing away.
Friday, December 3, 2010
God Help Me, I'm a Bleeding Heart
Man, I know it's crazy but I'm worried about Chance's brother. I know he isn't my responsibility but I can't help myself. He says that his job called him and told him not to come in, but I find that hard to believe. He finally has a good job and, for his sake Id hate to see something happen to it. I'm not quite sure how his job called, since I have had the phone all day and the only calls have been my mom or My grandmother-in-law, who also voiced the same thought when she asked if he had overslept or missed his alarm. His job just isn't the kind to call people and tell them not to come in, in my opinion. It's a state prison, for goodness sakes! If they are calling people and telling them not to come in, I personally, would be concerned about a knifing of a guard or a revolt or something. I'm sure im being silly, though. Maybe he gets really good cell service in that room, even though Chance and I didn't.
So anyway, here I am, sitting on my couch, blogging from my phone because my computer is out of commission at the moment and I just don't feel like turning on Chance's computer to do something as simple as blogging. Also I am crocheting a scarf, probably to be a Christmas gift for one of my sisters, all the while watching Miss Congeniality on WEtv because it's one of the few active channels we currently receive. Sandra Bullock has to be my favorite female actress of all time. She's beautiful and talented and hilarious when she wants to be, but also she can be wonderfully serious and romantic when necessary. She's so versatile. This might be one of my favorite movies she's done. I also adore Diane Lane. Under The Tuscan Sun and Must Love Dogs are to of her best movies, in my opinion.
This scarf I'm making is a deep pink color, and it's about 35 inches of double stitch on either side of an incredibly soft fuzzy yarn. I wanted it to be softer and warmer on the neck because that's just more comfortable. I figure it will be longer than I wanted but I'm ok with that. Also it's gonna be a lot longer than I wanted. It's almost 4 feet right now.
So I had a dentist appt Thursday. Apparently my tooth is too infected to be pulled at this time, which I find very disappointing, because it means, not only will I be in pain for 2 more weeks, but I have to take off work again. So I'm going to talk to my boss hopefully tomorrow, and see if he will let me work that Monday (even though I don't normally work Mondays) because I need the money, and I also feel so rotten about not being able to work that tuesday through Friday because I have to ride up with Chance. The only blessed good news I found out is that I might be able to have all 3 of these bad teeth pulled because of my situation (I.e. Having to drive back and forth from the Woodlands to Centerville for a dentist appointment). That is, if he doesn't decide that it's too much a problem because 2 teeth are on one side of my mouth and the other is on the opposite side of my mouth. Luckily we found out that our insurance works for me finally. And if I was hearing correctly, our deductible is $50 per person. My appt in August cost us $135 out of pocket, so the lady said she'd file our insurance on that and then either I'd be reimbursed or we could put it toward the next appointment. Also luckily, if I were to have all 3 teeth pulled before December 31st, it will only cost $45. That's really damn good, amirite??? Considering the last was $135. Lol.
Also, can you believe I just typed all of this on my iPhone??? Boy my hand is cramping now though....
So anyway, here I am, sitting on my couch, blogging from my phone because my computer is out of commission at the moment and I just don't feel like turning on Chance's computer to do something as simple as blogging. Also I am crocheting a scarf, probably to be a Christmas gift for one of my sisters, all the while watching Miss Congeniality on WEtv because it's one of the few active channels we currently receive. Sandra Bullock has to be my favorite female actress of all time. She's beautiful and talented and hilarious when she wants to be, but also she can be wonderfully serious and romantic when necessary. She's so versatile. This might be one of my favorite movies she's done. I also adore Diane Lane. Under The Tuscan Sun and Must Love Dogs are to of her best movies, in my opinion.
This scarf I'm making is a deep pink color, and it's about 35 inches of double stitch on either side of an incredibly soft fuzzy yarn. I wanted it to be softer and warmer on the neck because that's just more comfortable. I figure it will be longer than I wanted but I'm ok with that. Also it's gonna be a lot longer than I wanted. It's almost 4 feet right now.
So I had a dentist appt Thursday. Apparently my tooth is too infected to be pulled at this time, which I find very disappointing, because it means, not only will I be in pain for 2 more weeks, but I have to take off work again. So I'm going to talk to my boss hopefully tomorrow, and see if he will let me work that Monday (even though I don't normally work Mondays) because I need the money, and I also feel so rotten about not being able to work that tuesday through Friday because I have to ride up with Chance. The only blessed good news I found out is that I might be able to have all 3 of these bad teeth pulled because of my situation (I.e. Having to drive back and forth from the Woodlands to Centerville for a dentist appointment). That is, if he doesn't decide that it's too much a problem because 2 teeth are on one side of my mouth and the other is on the opposite side of my mouth. Luckily we found out that our insurance works for me finally. And if I was hearing correctly, our deductible is $50 per person. My appt in August cost us $135 out of pocket, so the lady said she'd file our insurance on that and then either I'd be reimbursed or we could put it toward the next appointment. Also luckily, if I were to have all 3 teeth pulled before December 31st, it will only cost $45. That's really damn good, amirite??? Considering the last was $135. Lol.
Also, can you believe I just typed all of this on my iPhone??? Boy my hand is cramping now though....
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
You've Lived a Good Life, Computer
So, today I came to Centerville, since I have a dentist appointment on Thursday and there was really no other viable options that weren't a waste of gas for someone. I miss 2 days of work, but it's ok. Really, its no big loss, just like, $30. I'll just, like, buy less fast food and make it up, lol. So anyway, here I am, sitting at my house with my computer. Mom and Dad gave me a universal charger (absolutely wonderful of them, might I add) that they had on the old laptop. Unfortunately, I don't think the charger is compatible, because it says "For Use on HP or Compaq notebooks only" and my games won't load (or in the case of Sims 3, it takes nearly an hour to load, freezing my computer in the process). You might think "Oh maybe you're computer is a peice of shit," but when unplugged, the Sims 3 worked. So I blame the power input or output or wattage or general incompatibility of the HP universal charger with my Dell. I think the best I can do is ask Chance to buy one at Wal-Mart tonight, because there seems to be no bringing my Charger back from the dead. I make it a point to never complain openly to Chance about my computer, as his died and although he received a nice laptop as a gift from my parents, it just is not satisfactory enough for him. He prefers high-end, top of the line gaming systems, and will whine and complain until, 20 years from now, we can finally afford to replace his. So anyway, I hope that I can get Chance to buy a cord from Wal-Mart cuz this is like, awkward.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Shocking
So, today at work, this guy comes through the drive-thru in a minivan. Normal. He ordered food just for himself, which made sense cuz he was the only one in the car. Also normal. We had to park him, however, because we didn't have any fries ready yet. As my partner is closing the window, she sees the guy grab what appears to be a movie case. He's in a minivan, so this is acceptable. HOWEVER, what she sees is like, shocking. The cover of the case has "kinky" on it. That's all she could read. The dvd has pictures of naked ladies on it. My partner (who's 16) was shocked, and we had a good laugh about it. Then, it came down to who had to run the food. We stared at each other for a moment, and she shook her head no. So I ran the food out. The guy was kicked back in his seat watching the movie in the minivan's built-in dvd player thing. With his hand in his pants. I walked to the window, saw this, and, attempting to be as professional as I could, I said, "Um. Ew. Have a good afternoon, sir," handed him the food, and hauled ass. I told my manager, expecting him to take care of the situation, but we got really busy and forgot about the creepy guy.
Chance told me later that because my drive-thru (who saw the dvd) is under 18, the guy could have gotten arrested just because she glimpsed the case and/or dvd. Makes me kinda wish we had called the cops or something.
So overall, it was a very interesting new use for a minivan's dvd player. O_O
Chance told me later that because my drive-thru (who saw the dvd) is under 18, the guy could have gotten arrested just because she glimpsed the case and/or dvd. Makes me kinda wish we had called the cops or something.
So overall, it was a very interesting new use for a minivan's dvd player. O_O
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Small Musing
Sometimes I wonder if Chance and I need to be together forever or if he deserves a better looking girl, one that's fit and can keep up with him in all the stuff he wants to do. Maybe I should leave him and go be a recluse like Emily Dickinson. Or meet a fattie online who is like a big computer nerd and makes $$ cuz I can't have no poor boy. I guess i could get in shape but I can't make myself prettier and he deserves the best, imo. But ya know, I know I'm not the hottest chick ever, but I'm decently comfortable with my body 80% of the time. I'm only insecure whenever I hear Chance comment on a Hawt girl. Outside I'm like 'yeah chick is fine!' but inside I'm like 'omg I'm cool too plz don't leave me!' lol. :(
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Movie Trailer (And a Rant About Movies/DVDs)
So, i can't stop thinking about it. I saw the trailer on the Twilight film, and I about wet myself right there. This movie is going to be so exciting. They're doing it in two parts. I can't chill. I just watched the trailer again. I'm so keyed up for it. So excited. I'm tripping balls. I personally feel that it's gonna be better than the new World of Warcraft expansion, which is also (supposedly) coming out in November.
I mean, like, the most exciting part is they're doing 2 parts to it. Some people feel its to get more money (since this is the last one) but in my humblest of opinions, I feel that its because there is no way to properly fit everything they need to fit into a 3 hour film. Its taken nearly 2 years to make it. They're putting a lot more effort into this one. I can only hope that it will live up to the hype. Personally, I think that's what has taken them so long on it. I mean, I'm sure they could have just done the whole thing as one movie, but they'd have to have like a 20 minute intermission so everyone could flood the bathrooms and halls to pee and stretch and blather on about the first half. But that would also be like a 6 hour sitting, i'm sure. And the movie theatres would either have to show it in more rooms or run it for more weeks, so that everyone that wants to see it in theatres gets the chance. Plus its gonna be in 3D. I know the theatre near me has a deluxe digital 3D room, but not many do, which isn't a big deal, but those that do have theatres like that will be jam packed. And a 6 hour showing means they wouldn't be able to do it more than 2x a day, so they'd have to occupy their theatre for longer or whatever. Really, its just not beneficial all around to do it as one movie. So I think its better they break it up.
I'm just curious how they'll do the DVD. Will part one come out, then part two be realeased in theatres, or will they wait for part to to go to theatres, meanwhile, preparing the DVDs so when its time to release it, both parts can go out at once? With the technology we have nowadays, not to mention the demand, movies make it to DVD just months, as opposed to back 15-20 years ago (or longer, even) when movies took a couple years to come out on tape. I think the only reason that movies take time to come to DVD now is because they want people to still pay to go to the theatres.
Honestly, I don't think, even if movies came out like, right after they went out of theatres, that I would stop going to the movies. There's something about it that I really enjoy. The sounds, the smells, the crush of people crowding into the rooms, all of it I love. Movies make excellent dates. You pick something you both want to see, or something that will make her cry into your arms, or hell, something that'll make her jump into your arms out of fear. You enjoy yourself, you get to cop a feel, everyone's happy. I love getting to go to the movies. I love getting out of the house (cuz i'm pretty much here or at work), see things, be around people. I think the only thing I don't like at the movies is the incredibly overpriced food and drinks. But even sometimes i'd be willing to splurge on a drink or drink/popcorn combo, just for the full "going to the movies" effect.
To quote a good friend of mine, this Harry Potter movie is gonna be "better than porn."
November can't come fast enough. :D
I mean, like, the most exciting part is they're doing 2 parts to it. Some people feel its to get more money (since this is the last one) but in my humblest of opinions, I feel that its because there is no way to properly fit everything they need to fit into a 3 hour film. Its taken nearly 2 years to make it. They're putting a lot more effort into this one. I can only hope that it will live up to the hype. Personally, I think that's what has taken them so long on it. I mean, I'm sure they could have just done the whole thing as one movie, but they'd have to have like a 20 minute intermission so everyone could flood the bathrooms and halls to pee and stretch and blather on about the first half. But that would also be like a 6 hour sitting, i'm sure. And the movie theatres would either have to show it in more rooms or run it for more weeks, so that everyone that wants to see it in theatres gets the chance. Plus its gonna be in 3D. I know the theatre near me has a deluxe digital 3D room, but not many do, which isn't a big deal, but those that do have theatres like that will be jam packed. And a 6 hour showing means they wouldn't be able to do it more than 2x a day, so they'd have to occupy their theatre for longer or whatever. Really, its just not beneficial all around to do it as one movie. So I think its better they break it up.
I'm just curious how they'll do the DVD. Will part one come out, then part two be realeased in theatres, or will they wait for part to to go to theatres, meanwhile, preparing the DVDs so when its time to release it, both parts can go out at once? With the technology we have nowadays, not to mention the demand, movies make it to DVD just months, as opposed to back 15-20 years ago (or longer, even) when movies took a couple years to come out on tape. I think the only reason that movies take time to come to DVD now is because they want people to still pay to go to the theatres.
Honestly, I don't think, even if movies came out like, right after they went out of theatres, that I would stop going to the movies. There's something about it that I really enjoy. The sounds, the smells, the crush of people crowding into the rooms, all of it I love. Movies make excellent dates. You pick something you both want to see, or something that will make her cry into your arms, or hell, something that'll make her jump into your arms out of fear. You enjoy yourself, you get to cop a feel, everyone's happy. I love getting to go to the movies. I love getting out of the house (cuz i'm pretty much here or at work), see things, be around people. I think the only thing I don't like at the movies is the incredibly overpriced food and drinks. But even sometimes i'd be willing to splurge on a drink or drink/popcorn combo, just for the full "going to the movies" effect.
To quote a good friend of mine, this Harry Potter movie is gonna be "better than porn."
November can't come fast enough. :D
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Well, I went with my sister-in-law to see the new Twilight movie. It totally kicked ass. I don't wanna give a whole bunch of spoilers, but there were just a few parts I HAVE to talk about. I'm thinking my favorite part was about the same in the book: the ending fight scene. I was utterly surprised that they did it so well, and graphically. I mean, actually getting to see Edward literally tear Victoria's head off was impressive. And the way they did the bodies, like they actually are stone. It was really epic.
I was also really impressed by the way they incorporated the creating of the newborn army. The book went into no detail about it, but the movie did like, cutscenes or something, where they flashed to the newborns, and showed Riley. I was torn on my feelings about that, however. They made him a missing person from Forks, and it upset me because you think that the Cullens would have known him then, since they'd been in Forks a while, and he'd been missing for a year. Even Bella should have known him. But aside from that, I was really pleased with they way they showed more about the newborns. I approved. (Congrats, Summit Entertainment. I approved of that choice. Your lives are complete.)
One of my other favorite moments was when Jacob climbed into the sleeping bag to warm Bella so she didn't freeze to death. He said to Edward, "Well, I am hotter than you." The entire theatre cracked up. It was great. I loved it. Jacob had quite a few funny lines. Honestly, Charlie did too, lol. When he confronts Bella about a 'birds and bees' kinda talk, she's like, "Dad! I'm a virgin!" and leaves the room to him saying "Well I'm glad we had this talk," and she calls down the stairs "me too". Then he leans against the counter and says, "I'm liking Edward a little more now." It was great. Too funny, lol.
One of the things that annoyed me was there attempt at integrating some of today's common slang: mainly the use of the word "epic". When Bella was talking about Alice's graduation party, she said it was gonna be epic, which peeved me a bit. I mean, it just doesn't seem like something that Bella would say, not to me. It really just did not fit the character.
I was also really miffed at Jasper. He's always been one of my favorite characters, and the first two movies, admittedly, he didn't play a big part, didn't have a lot of speaking lines. But the stupid fucking Texas accent he put on in this movie completely ruined him for me. I was like, I understand he'd have an accent, but couldn't they get him a fucking dialect coach? He literally talked out of the side of his mouth. It made me very depressed to say "I'm from Texas." Damn you, Jackson Rathborne.
I'm still a little peeved about the ending, too. They never confront Charlie with the asking for Bella's hand in marriage thing, and there's a lot of stuff with Bella and Jake you don't see either. But, they have to leave you hanging, and in truth, it was a beautiful scene, for and ending.
I'm sure there was a lot more I could say, but these are really my big talking points tonight. I mean, I expected it to not follow the book, so I went into open-minded, and I wasn't as annoyed at the variances as I usually am. I did notice them all, and cringe at some of the bigger mistakes or cut-outs or whatever you wanna call it, but I also understand you just can't do it word-for-word to the book. And sometimes there's some pluses to that, too. Like you don't sit in a movie for 6 hours. I was surprised at my approval for most of their additions. I was only mildly shocked at the whole Bree Tanner thing. Supposedly she was gonna get a bigger part, but they never even named the character. They flashed to her a few times, showing her hesitation to participate in the battle, but that was about it. I'm not even sure if she got paid for it, because all she did was scream. Well, maybe she had one line. But that was about it.
So, my arms are tired and I think i've say about all I want to say about the movie. I don't want to be responsible for ruining it for the people that haven't seen (and plan on seeing) Eclipse.
(Sorry if I did ruin it...)
I was also really impressed by the way they incorporated the creating of the newborn army. The book went into no detail about it, but the movie did like, cutscenes or something, where they flashed to the newborns, and showed Riley. I was torn on my feelings about that, however. They made him a missing person from Forks, and it upset me because you think that the Cullens would have known him then, since they'd been in Forks a while, and he'd been missing for a year. Even Bella should have known him. But aside from that, I was really pleased with they way they showed more about the newborns. I approved. (Congrats, Summit Entertainment. I approved of that choice. Your lives are complete.)
One of my other favorite moments was when Jacob climbed into the sleeping bag to warm Bella so she didn't freeze to death. He said to Edward, "Well, I am hotter than you." The entire theatre cracked up. It was great. I loved it. Jacob had quite a few funny lines. Honestly, Charlie did too, lol. When he confronts Bella about a 'birds and bees' kinda talk, she's like, "Dad! I'm a virgin!" and leaves the room to him saying "Well I'm glad we had this talk," and she calls down the stairs "me too". Then he leans against the counter and says, "I'm liking Edward a little more now." It was great. Too funny, lol.
One of the things that annoyed me was there attempt at integrating some of today's common slang: mainly the use of the word "epic". When Bella was talking about Alice's graduation party, she said it was gonna be epic, which peeved me a bit. I mean, it just doesn't seem like something that Bella would say, not to me. It really just did not fit the character.
I was also really miffed at Jasper. He's always been one of my favorite characters, and the first two movies, admittedly, he didn't play a big part, didn't have a lot of speaking lines. But the stupid fucking Texas accent he put on in this movie completely ruined him for me. I was like, I understand he'd have an accent, but couldn't they get him a fucking dialect coach? He literally talked out of the side of his mouth. It made me very depressed to say "I'm from Texas." Damn you, Jackson Rathborne.
I'm still a little peeved about the ending, too. They never confront Charlie with the asking for Bella's hand in marriage thing, and there's a lot of stuff with Bella and Jake you don't see either. But, they have to leave you hanging, and in truth, it was a beautiful scene, for and ending.
I'm sure there was a lot more I could say, but these are really my big talking points tonight. I mean, I expected it to not follow the book, so I went into open-minded, and I wasn't as annoyed at the variances as I usually am. I did notice them all, and cringe at some of the bigger mistakes or cut-outs or whatever you wanna call it, but I also understand you just can't do it word-for-word to the book. And sometimes there's some pluses to that, too. Like you don't sit in a movie for 6 hours. I was surprised at my approval for most of their additions. I was only mildly shocked at the whole Bree Tanner thing. Supposedly she was gonna get a bigger part, but they never even named the character. They flashed to her a few times, showing her hesitation to participate in the battle, but that was about it. I'm not even sure if she got paid for it, because all she did was scream. Well, maybe she had one line. But that was about it.
So, my arms are tired and I think i've say about all I want to say about the movie. I don't want to be responsible for ruining it for the people that haven't seen (and plan on seeing) Eclipse.
(Sorry if I did ruin it...)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Hostility
It is a rare occasion that you see me openly hostile to anyone. Generally, I am a nice person. I've forgiving (to an extent) and if I'm rude, which I can be, i'm well aware, it is usually for very acceptable reasons. But, in the event I've been openly hostile to someone, so hostile that my words dripped poison into their soul, that their tears bled from my verbal wounds, it should be a clear sign to NEVER, EVER speak to me again. That is the kind of idiocy that can cause people to do crazy things. That can infuriate people so strongly that they radiate an incredibly strong, red, evil aura. the kind of freaky Carrie-type shit.
At this current moment, I'm pretty sure i'm angry enough that I can send my fist through a brick wall.
I have been openly hostile to the man my mother is seeing. I would say it is behind my father's back, but he's aware of the situation. So its weird, and freaky, and I think it's most definitely the worst thing my mother has ever done. She doesn't consider the pain she's putting her family through, and she doesn't even know that this man will love her and want her 5 years from now. Hell, 2 years from now. So I think it's a big mistake.
But, apparently, this man feels that, as long as he's in my mother's life, he's free to be in her children's lives as well. The big roadblock I erected that reads "MEN WHO SLEEP WITH MARRIED WOMEN AND ATTEMPT TO STEAL THEM FROM THEIR NICE, COMFORTABLE, HAPPY LIVES BY MAKING THEM THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER AND THAT THERE'S SOMETHING THEY CAN GET FROM YOU THAT THEIR HUSBANDS CAN'T GIVE THEM SHOULD TURN BACK AT ONCE. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. PLEASE LEAVE!!" was apparently not a clue-in for him.
He wanted to congratulate me on my wedding and on how beautiful my daughter is (which, oddly, bothers me, seeing as for all I know about him, he could have been a child molester before he met my mother).
His action that has set me on a murderous rampage was kind, however, so I'm trying to tone down my anger. I decided to not speak to him, since he was being nice, to spare him from any whiplash or anger I cannot contain. Maybe, in an hour when I've calmed down and I can speak, I might do the right thing and tell the bastard thank you. However, I'm sure I'll mentally add "go die" at the end.
I take comfort in the fact that he doesn't feel what he has done is sinful, so he doesn't feel the need to seek forgiveness. I wish he would, so he could set about on a path of righteousness, and stop fucking married women, but I don't see this happening, so I take solace in the fact that I won't be seeing him in the afterlife.
My only other comfort is that we do not play on the same WoW server, and he doesn't know my e-mail to add me as a friend, because if he did, I doubt i'd be able to choke down my rage. I keep him on my facebook friends list because I want my mother to think i'm trying, that I'm being nice, and when he does something that makes me angry, I do her the courtesy of not speaking to him or her, to spare their feelings.
I think that's the nicest thing I can do for them.
At this current moment, I'm pretty sure i'm angry enough that I can send my fist through a brick wall.
I have been openly hostile to the man my mother is seeing. I would say it is behind my father's back, but he's aware of the situation. So its weird, and freaky, and I think it's most definitely the worst thing my mother has ever done. She doesn't consider the pain she's putting her family through, and she doesn't even know that this man will love her and want her 5 years from now. Hell, 2 years from now. So I think it's a big mistake.
But, apparently, this man feels that, as long as he's in my mother's life, he's free to be in her children's lives as well. The big roadblock I erected that reads "MEN WHO SLEEP WITH MARRIED WOMEN AND ATTEMPT TO STEAL THEM FROM THEIR NICE, COMFORTABLE, HAPPY LIVES BY MAKING THEM THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER AND THAT THERE'S SOMETHING THEY CAN GET FROM YOU THAT THEIR HUSBANDS CAN'T GIVE THEM SHOULD TURN BACK AT ONCE. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. PLEASE LEAVE!!" was apparently not a clue-in for him.
He wanted to congratulate me on my wedding and on how beautiful my daughter is (which, oddly, bothers me, seeing as for all I know about him, he could have been a child molester before he met my mother).
His action that has set me on a murderous rampage was kind, however, so I'm trying to tone down my anger. I decided to not speak to him, since he was being nice, to spare him from any whiplash or anger I cannot contain. Maybe, in an hour when I've calmed down and I can speak, I might do the right thing and tell the bastard thank you. However, I'm sure I'll mentally add "go die" at the end.
I take comfort in the fact that he doesn't feel what he has done is sinful, so he doesn't feel the need to seek forgiveness. I wish he would, so he could set about on a path of righteousness, and stop fucking married women, but I don't see this happening, so I take solace in the fact that I won't be seeing him in the afterlife.
My only other comfort is that we do not play on the same WoW server, and he doesn't know my e-mail to add me as a friend, because if he did, I doubt i'd be able to choke down my rage. I keep him on my facebook friends list because I want my mother to think i'm trying, that I'm being nice, and when he does something that makes me angry, I do her the courtesy of not speaking to him or her, to spare their feelings.
I think that's the nicest thing I can do for them.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Every little thing...
It seems like everything is driving me crazy right now...I'm so tired of all this. It seems like every time I turn around something else is pissing me off. My bro-in-law's GF uses our shampoos and soaps when she shouldn't. She showers here when she's got her own house. She should like, pay for water, or at least bring her own fucking shampoo. I dunno. It's just nutzo. Sort of rude in my opinion. He ate all the hubby's ice cream and attempted to replace it, but Chance like, I dunno what happened, actually. But Bro seems frustrated, so I can only assume chance snapped at him. I'm losing my temper with Shayla, which scares me, and I want to send her away from me because I'm scared I'll slap her or something. I'm trying to back up my iPhone and people won't stop calling me. It erased itself once. I dunno. I'm just frustrated and angry. Every time I type a sentence in this blog I get interrupted and I'm losing my train of thought so easily. I need to vent, I need to relieve my frustration somehow. I want to say I hate my life, but I don't. FML is probably a better term, a better thing to say. I just wanna say fuck it all, I guess. (Phone cancelled backup again. -.-)
anyway, I guess i'm just gonna give up trying to blog and update my phone, and just go play wow...
anyway, I guess i'm just gonna give up trying to blog and update my phone, and just go play wow...
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mother's Day
So, work today wasn't disgustingly horrible, but it did suck. Well, first off, it was mother's day, and I had to work. I barely got to spend any time with Shayla today, and when I was here with her, she cried every time I tried to get a hug or anything. She was tired and cranky, though. So it wasn't really her fault.
Anyway, we were really slow today. Barely made 1k in sales. But, I was on drive-thru and that was fun. Everyone told me Happy Mother's Day, and some of our regulars told me too, which was really sweet.
I had more to say, but I really don't remember, so yeah...
Anyway, we were really slow today. Barely made 1k in sales. But, I was on drive-thru and that was fun. Everyone told me Happy Mother's Day, and some of our regulars told me too, which was really sweet.
I had more to say, but I really don't remember, so yeah...
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Oh, The Things People Say
I find myself increasingly curious if there is someone out there who comes across my blog and thinks "hey, this girl is kinda interesting...I shall read more." I'd like to think that my little blog, this little piece of me floating on the internet, has brought humor to someone's life. LOL. I really would like to believe there's some stranger out there, someone I have never met, how has stumbled upon this blog and thought "Man, this girl is kinda whack, but she's cool."
So, there's a guy at work, who I think is crazy. I doubt this is a new development in this blog; however, I can't recall if I wrote about him before, so I'll re-hash for my (imaginary) readers. The guy told me a couple days ago that he made himself believe that my husband was his brother, and that my daughter was his child. He never mentioned how I fell into his imaginary world. When later confronted, he denied the claims I made against his sanity. He told me he only said those things because he was 'stressed-out". I so wanted to say that stressed-out and strung-out are two different things, but I bit my tongue. As per usual, I find it hard to wrong a friend, even if they've wronged me. Later the same day, another coworker notices Crazy Steve (not his real name, but it sounds kinda funny) over there snapping pictures of me on his phone. Awkward...
Again, he denied these claims, and as we couldn't prove that's what he was doing, the accusations were dropped. His job is safe for another time. Unfortunately (for him), he's starting to irritate the boss. Now, all this other drama-rama has started to creep her out as well. I sense that she'd like to fire him, but we have to tread carefully, and build a case to prove he was fired for incompetence at his job, and not because of his fragile mental state.
So now, I'm not really looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I don't really wanna deal with this guy. He's starting to make me uncomfortable. The boss is trying not to schedule us together, but it's really hard. We are technically under-staffed at the present time, and we're having a hard time hiring on new, competent workers.
On a closing note, a funny story from yesterday's drive-thru. I was working drive-thru with my friend and shift manager, Stephie. We're chatting, and the customer is chatting on her phone as I pass her food to her: First the bag of food, then her shake with her receipt in the same hand. Stephie tells me, "The receipt goes in the bag," very casually, like it was general conversation. So I respond in the same tone of voice, "Yes, I know it does." And the customer snaps suddenly "There's no need for that attitude!" And starts rambling into her phone about how I was snapping at her and giving her shit as she flies out of our drive-thru lane at like, 30 or 40 mph, which is a lot, given the limited space she had. Stephie and I were completely stunned, clueless. We had no idea how to fix the situation, nor any idea what to say to each other. So we ended up telling the boss the whole story, and though we all got a kick out of it, we're scared the customer will complain or something, and our store will get in trouble. So, Jennifer reprimanded us for chatting in front of customers. It was pretty much a verbal coaching, no big thing.
But still, crazy drive-thru people...crazy co-workers...What's next? Crazy blog readers?
I suppose it's time I ended this entry, as my eyes are getting to heavy to stay open, and I know my daughter will wake early tomorrow.
I'd just hate for my view count to all be from myself. :(
So, there's a guy at work, who I think is crazy. I doubt this is a new development in this blog; however, I can't recall if I wrote about him before, so I'll re-hash for my (imaginary) readers. The guy told me a couple days ago that he made himself believe that my husband was his brother, and that my daughter was his child. He never mentioned how I fell into his imaginary world. When later confronted, he denied the claims I made against his sanity. He told me he only said those things because he was 'stressed-out". I so wanted to say that stressed-out and strung-out are two different things, but I bit my tongue. As per usual, I find it hard to wrong a friend, even if they've wronged me. Later the same day, another coworker notices Crazy Steve (not his real name, but it sounds kinda funny) over there snapping pictures of me on his phone. Awkward...
Again, he denied these claims, and as we couldn't prove that's what he was doing, the accusations were dropped. His job is safe for another time. Unfortunately (for him), he's starting to irritate the boss. Now, all this other drama-rama has started to creep her out as well. I sense that she'd like to fire him, but we have to tread carefully, and build a case to prove he was fired for incompetence at his job, and not because of his fragile mental state.
So now, I'm not really looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I don't really wanna deal with this guy. He's starting to make me uncomfortable. The boss is trying not to schedule us together, but it's really hard. We are technically under-staffed at the present time, and we're having a hard time hiring on new, competent workers.
On a closing note, a funny story from yesterday's drive-thru. I was working drive-thru with my friend and shift manager, Stephie. We're chatting, and the customer is chatting on her phone as I pass her food to her: First the bag of food, then her shake with her receipt in the same hand. Stephie tells me, "The receipt goes in the bag," very casually, like it was general conversation. So I respond in the same tone of voice, "Yes, I know it does." And the customer snaps suddenly "There's no need for that attitude!" And starts rambling into her phone about how I was snapping at her and giving her shit as she flies out of our drive-thru lane at like, 30 or 40 mph, which is a lot, given the limited space she had. Stephie and I were completely stunned, clueless. We had no idea how to fix the situation, nor any idea what to say to each other. So we ended up telling the boss the whole story, and though we all got a kick out of it, we're scared the customer will complain or something, and our store will get in trouble. So, Jennifer reprimanded us for chatting in front of customers. It was pretty much a verbal coaching, no big thing.
But still, crazy drive-thru people...crazy co-workers...What's next? Crazy blog readers?
I suppose it's time I ended this entry, as my eyes are getting to heavy to stay open, and I know my daughter will wake early tomorrow.
I'd just hate for my view count to all be from myself. :(
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
What do I do when a friend admits he's crazy?
Well, Shayla has put herself to sleep, and I'm thinking maybe that's a good thing right now, because I'm about 3 seconds from having a nervous breakdown. I can't stop shaking. My hands are trembling and its hard to type. All I can think is "I'm never going back to work again. I'm moving far, far away from here. I'm never coming back again."
See, there's this guy I work with, and we were becoming friends, and it was cool, just told me how he convinced himself that Shayla was his daughter, and that Chance and him were brothers. Then he tells me he thinks he's got schizophrenia and that he might be having hallucinations and talking to himself, and God only knows what else. Not, I think he's crazy, for sure, but I just don't know what to do.
I tried to talk to one of the managers, but she's not really got much authority over hiring and firing, and really I was asking her what I should do, but she just told me she didn't want to be involved. I don't blame her, of course, but I also feel very alone in dealing with this situation. Despite the fact he said he's not a danger to himself, I can't help but feel nervous now. I don't want to work with him. I don't want to be around him anymore.
I feel so scared and alone and confused right now...I can only imagine he's feeling worse.
See, there's this guy I work with, and we were becoming friends, and it was cool, just told me how he convinced himself that Shayla was his daughter, and that Chance and him were brothers. Then he tells me he thinks he's got schizophrenia and that he might be having hallucinations and talking to himself, and God only knows what else. Not, I think he's crazy, for sure, but I just don't know what to do.
I tried to talk to one of the managers, but she's not really got much authority over hiring and firing, and really I was asking her what I should do, but she just told me she didn't want to be involved. I don't blame her, of course, but I also feel very alone in dealing with this situation. Despite the fact he said he's not a danger to himself, I can't help but feel nervous now. I don't want to work with him. I don't want to be around him anymore.
I feel so scared and alone and confused right now...I can only imagine he's feeling worse.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
So, I was feeling pretty jacked-up sick today. My head hurt, my stomach hurt, my throat hurts. I can feel my tonsils swelling, still, even though its been hours since I woke up like this. I feel like anything I put in my stomach will be coming back to greet me soon...I would have preferred to stay in bed all day today, so I felt pretty shitty when I was playing with Shayla and stuff. I kinda wanted to be like "Robin, I don't feel good...You take Shay.." But I know, in the real world, we can't go around dumping our kids off when we don't feel good and want to sleep all day. Therefore, I've been up since nine thirty this morning. Not too bad, but I am gettin pretty tired.
I seriously was not looking forward to going to work. So I called in. Which didn't end pretty. I was told to 'take some medicine, rest, and come in anyway', despite the fact I told my manager I'd been throwing up. So, in the end, I ended up not going into work today, but I also ended up filing a 'silent witness' report. Which won't really be silent, because they'll know I did it. But really, He isn't supposed to say that, by law. Sadly, on the one hand, I really hope that they fire me for this, even though Chance says my job is protected. Its not that I don't want to work, or whatever. I just...I'm so exhausted. I want to focus on one thing at a time. Right now, I want to focus on Shayla, and becoming a better parent for her. Chance won't hear me out on this, or if he does, he still presses that I keep working. Which I understand. But I want to slack off my hours, so I can spend more time with Shayla. I'm scared I'm gonna work myself so hard and make my body and mind more exhausted than they are and not want to be with Shay when I come home from work. That's a really, seriously scary thought to me...
I admit I'm also scared of getting fired. I dunno how fast this report will go through or how long it will take for this to get back to my bosses...But...I did what I felt was the right thing to do. I stood up for us when we've been treated unfairly. I'm sure they'll throw at me that I get sick alot, or something like that, and it'll be hard to defend myself, I'm sure. Someone had to be the one to speak up. Maybe...Right?
I seriously was not looking forward to going to work. So I called in. Which didn't end pretty. I was told to 'take some medicine, rest, and come in anyway', despite the fact I told my manager I'd been throwing up. So, in the end, I ended up not going into work today, but I also ended up filing a 'silent witness' report. Which won't really be silent, because they'll know I did it. But really, He isn't supposed to say that, by law. Sadly, on the one hand, I really hope that they fire me for this, even though Chance says my job is protected. Its not that I don't want to work, or whatever. I just...I'm so exhausted. I want to focus on one thing at a time. Right now, I want to focus on Shayla, and becoming a better parent for her. Chance won't hear me out on this, or if he does, he still presses that I keep working. Which I understand. But I want to slack off my hours, so I can spend more time with Shayla. I'm scared I'm gonna work myself so hard and make my body and mind more exhausted than they are and not want to be with Shay when I come home from work. That's a really, seriously scary thought to me...
I admit I'm also scared of getting fired. I dunno how fast this report will go through or how long it will take for this to get back to my bosses...But...I did what I felt was the right thing to do. I stood up for us when we've been treated unfairly. I'm sure they'll throw at me that I get sick alot, or something like that, and it'll be hard to defend myself, I'm sure. Someone had to be the one to speak up. Maybe...Right?
Thursday, April 29, 2010
With All My Love...
With all the love in my heart, I say this to you, Mommy:
I don't think you understood a single word I said (well, typed) to you at all. You probably skimmed what I wrote and saw it as a personal attack, then rebutted with something that wasn't even close to what the original conversation was. So I'm sorry at being angry for you because, as it sounded and appeared, you spent money on junk and then turned around and told me you couldn't afford to go to a dress store in a city, which is why u went to one in Po-Dunkville.
I was making no attempts to air any dirty laundry, but then you started calling me a drop-out, and saying things that didn't need to be said, and of course I responded, and retaliated to some things I said before you could blow them up in my face and accuse me of trying to be a martyr or something. By the way, jumping to conclusions does you no good. That post is privated now, so only you and I can see it. I don't want the whole world to know what's going on between you and I. They've no reason to know. It's none of their business. Its between you and me. I typed things I had no intention of you seeing, and I typed things I couldn't say to your face, 1. because I feared you'd hang up on me out of anger if we were on the phone and not hear me all the way through, and 2. because if we were face to face i figured you'd slap me before i was finished, and still not hear me all the way through. So, in a way, I was chicken. Yeah, I admit it.
I don't know what to say to you, Mother. I'm so disappointed in you, really I am. Now moreso because you didn't even hear anything I said. You didn't let it go all the way through and sink down. You took no notice of me saying I missed you, loved you, wanted you back how you were, when you still cared so much and you actually showed it. Now, if you care, I can barely tell. You're too busy trying to 1-up me.
Sure, Chance and I go out sometimes, we do things together. But that hasn't been for months now, because we're getting more broke, and Shayla comes first. The closest to going going out we have now is taking Shayla to the library every weekend. We know when we can't afford to do something because we have to do something else, so we don't do it. We manage our priorities list, and do what needs to be done first.
And sure, I was like "you should buy me XT for Mother's Day" but if I seriously meant it, I would have said something like, "If you wanted to get me something for mothers day, some money would be good. We're behind on some bills and need help catching up." And I have asked you for help before. I've asked so many times. But you always say you don't have the money right now. And I don't press that fact. I figure, if you want to help when you get the money, you will. Simple as that. I never questioned whether or not it was the truth. I just assumed what you said was gold, and I should take it as that.
So, if you want to let your anger stand in the way of my words, so be it. If you want to read what I said as something different and argue that point, so be it. I'm tired of fighting with you, I'm tired of stuff coming between us. We've never had a proper parent-and-child relationship, and I doubt we ever will. When I was younger, you tried harder to be my friend than my parent, which made it so much easier to talk to you, but also made it less easy to respect you as a parent instead of as a friend, which is probably why I'm able to post things like this and not feel i've done wrong. Right now, the only thing I feel i've done wrong is ruined our relationship. And if that's what I did, so be it. I guess I can't change it now.
I never wanted this. I just wanted to be angry and disappointed in you for a while, and I was entirely over it when I talked to you later, and then you told me about more spending, and I was a little hurt, but I was oki. I woke up with every intention to delete that post, my venting completely done, and forgiveness in my heart. Bu I got hungry and went and ate while watching TV and I forgot about it, till Jacki told me you read and posted. So I knew it was going to be a bad day. But instead of asking my to explain myself, you jumped right to anger and yelling and accusing me of things, and it spiraled out of my control. I knew it was too late to fix it. Maybe I shouldn't have responded at all. Maybe I should have let you vent. Then, in a couple days, this would have blown over and it would have been back to normal.
I want you to know I don't hate you. I still love you, despite all the pain we've put each other through, despite how much we've hurt each other. Yeah, you make me so mad sometimes, you hurt me so bad...I don't know what to do or how to respond. But, this is what it is. Most parent-child relationships end in death. So ours ends on facebook.
I still love you more than anything in the world...
I don't think you understood a single word I said (well, typed) to you at all. You probably skimmed what I wrote and saw it as a personal attack, then rebutted with something that wasn't even close to what the original conversation was. So I'm sorry at being angry for you because, as it sounded and appeared, you spent money on junk and then turned around and told me you couldn't afford to go to a dress store in a city, which is why u went to one in Po-Dunkville.
I was making no attempts to air any dirty laundry, but then you started calling me a drop-out, and saying things that didn't need to be said, and of course I responded, and retaliated to some things I said before you could blow them up in my face and accuse me of trying to be a martyr or something. By the way, jumping to conclusions does you no good. That post is privated now, so only you and I can see it. I don't want the whole world to know what's going on between you and I. They've no reason to know. It's none of their business. Its between you and me. I typed things I had no intention of you seeing, and I typed things I couldn't say to your face, 1. because I feared you'd hang up on me out of anger if we were on the phone and not hear me all the way through, and 2. because if we were face to face i figured you'd slap me before i was finished, and still not hear me all the way through. So, in a way, I was chicken. Yeah, I admit it.
I don't know what to say to you, Mother. I'm so disappointed in you, really I am. Now moreso because you didn't even hear anything I said. You didn't let it go all the way through and sink down. You took no notice of me saying I missed you, loved you, wanted you back how you were, when you still cared so much and you actually showed it. Now, if you care, I can barely tell. You're too busy trying to 1-up me.
Sure, Chance and I go out sometimes, we do things together. But that hasn't been for months now, because we're getting more broke, and Shayla comes first. The closest to going going out we have now is taking Shayla to the library every weekend. We know when we can't afford to do something because we have to do something else, so we don't do it. We manage our priorities list, and do what needs to be done first.
And sure, I was like "you should buy me XT for Mother's Day" but if I seriously meant it, I would have said something like, "If you wanted to get me something for mothers day, some money would be good. We're behind on some bills and need help catching up." And I have asked you for help before. I've asked so many times. But you always say you don't have the money right now. And I don't press that fact. I figure, if you want to help when you get the money, you will. Simple as that. I never questioned whether or not it was the truth. I just assumed what you said was gold, and I should take it as that.
So, if you want to let your anger stand in the way of my words, so be it. If you want to read what I said as something different and argue that point, so be it. I'm tired of fighting with you, I'm tired of stuff coming between us. We've never had a proper parent-and-child relationship, and I doubt we ever will. When I was younger, you tried harder to be my friend than my parent, which made it so much easier to talk to you, but also made it less easy to respect you as a parent instead of as a friend, which is probably why I'm able to post things like this and not feel i've done wrong. Right now, the only thing I feel i've done wrong is ruined our relationship. And if that's what I did, so be it. I guess I can't change it now.
I never wanted this. I just wanted to be angry and disappointed in you for a while, and I was entirely over it when I talked to you later, and then you told me about more spending, and I was a little hurt, but I was oki. I woke up with every intention to delete that post, my venting completely done, and forgiveness in my heart. Bu I got hungry and went and ate while watching TV and I forgot about it, till Jacki told me you read and posted. So I knew it was going to be a bad day. But instead of asking my to explain myself, you jumped right to anger and yelling and accusing me of things, and it spiraled out of my control. I knew it was too late to fix it. Maybe I shouldn't have responded at all. Maybe I should have let you vent. Then, in a couple days, this would have blown over and it would have been back to normal.
I want you to know I don't hate you. I still love you, despite all the pain we've put each other through, despite how much we've hurt each other. Yeah, you make me so mad sometimes, you hurt me so bad...I don't know what to do or how to respond. But, this is what it is. Most parent-child relationships end in death. So ours ends on facebook.
I still love you more than anything in the world...
Replies...
So, my Mother felt the urge to reply to my post, when it first appeared yesterday, on Facebook. Here's her response:
Your dad bought the shoes for me! and the Wow stuff. Your the one who moved up there away from me!! I didn't do shit to you..but you know what...I don't know you anymore ashli...and I don't think I really want to. Cause a child doens't turn on the parent..no matter what. What the fuck did I do to you to make you wish things like this?? oh and I ... See Morebeleave you and chance whent to the commic book convention..and the movies and such..oh and wait Shalyla never wants for anything...and I beleave you got the wow things as well...and even asked me to get you some stuff. then you trun on me like this... NO!! You will not control me with guild and your words...deeds speak louder and I did have the cake ready to be made..as a suprise..but you told me someone else was making it...you didn't ask for HELP from me...YOU LET OTHERS HELP YOU AND THEN ATTACK ME...SO PISS OFF KID...CAUSE IM BEYOND HURT BY YOU.
If you need me you can reach me through your sisters..but as of now...im BEYOND DONE WITH YOU!!!
i DID NOT RAISE A SEFLISH BITCH...I raised a beautiful loving careing daughter or so I thought. You want another mother...you can have one..I never knew how much you HATED ME!! till now....gee maybe i did do my job as a parent!
She also responded to something else i posted, which was basically a REALLY short version of the first post. I'll post them here.
Me:
Well, I saw this coming...I know my Mother only too well. She put off getting the bridesmaids dresses for soo long that when she finally went she couldn't find anything to fit Jacki, and black was all she could find for Keeli. So, it breaks my heart, but if I actually have my wedding this year, it looks like my sisters... won't be my bridesmaids. I'm going to go cry for a few hours now...
Her:
Thank you Ashli...for pointing out my faults because ur up set.. But if you will recall, I had to have the MONEY to get the dresses! Yes it is your day, but ya know once in a while your heart needs to be broken. Never mind the times that i have given and done for you. Oh maybe those times don't count!! I spent a year driving you to collage to make... See More sure you went only to have you play WOW during class, and then to drop out!! Just cause you had a baby! Never mind the fact that I have devoted my life to you AND your sisters and given you each the best I can! Sorry its not good enough!! It would seem that Im not a good enough parent to suit you or anyone else!!..Im sick and tired of you pointing out bad things about me!! Maybe if you looked into a mirror one day you would realize that most everything I did in life was for you! Not ONCE ASKING for anything in return other than to respect me as a parent and use a little understand at times and to know that I would do all that I can to help you or anyone else for that matter....AND now your sister need 1500.00 worth of dentle work done..and I have no clue about the other one yet. So give me a break!! I am doing the best I can!! And kido if its not good enough..to bad I at least know I tried!! Im sorry Im such a disapointment to you your stepdad your real dad, your gmaw...but walk a day in my shoes and see how long you last!! Life isn't allways going to go YOUR way!! Oh and you don't think your sisters wern't hurt that they couldnt' find anything that fit!! We tried little girl, but you wen't there to see them cry cause nothing fit or was the right color. Oh and if your not sure about a wedding then WHY all the cussing at me over things huh?!? I told you i would do what i could AND I haven't given up yet..but as usual you gave up on me. Best thing i can tell you at this moment...GET OVER IT!!! AND quit accusing me of ruining things for you!!
Me Again:
for the record, if I walked a day in your shoes, I WOULDN'T BE SCREWING THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. If you want to throw out our dirty laundry for all to see, let's do it. But the difference between you and me: I have some self-respect not to fucking flaunt that i'm screwing around on my husband. Make me look bad all you want. Say whatever the ... See Morehell you want to say about me. I lost all respect for you the day HE rolled into town and you stopped loving my Daddy. How can I respect someone who has no respect for themselves? What kind of example are you setting for my sisters? For me?
If you had a problem with what I said, you should have called and talked to me about it, not made yourself look like an ass on facebook. But, I'm sure, you're completely missunderstood.
Oh, and on another note, what's my dropping out of college have anything to do with this? I didn't drop out, because I plan to go back, but at least I went. I have an Assoc. degree, so I did decently well for myself. But, recall this, Mother, half the time I didn't go to work or class was because you didn't feel like driving me. Yeah, there were times when i didn't feel good, when I didn't feel like going, but there were more times I sat in my room and cried because I wanted to go and you wouldn't take me. So, in all honesty, we're both to blame for my college (or lack of) education. Maybe its my fault for not teaching myself to drive, getting a job during high school so I could buy myself a car, stuff like that. But I was dependent on you to be the mother I needed, and half the time you were, but there were so times you weren't, especially near the end.
When you had your mid-life crisis and decided to become 'young' and popular and whatnot, you stopped being there for all of us, unless you had to be. You've been slowly withdrawing from our family for the last 2-3 years now. We miss the mom we had. You were a wonderful mother, one of the best...And now...Now, i'm not sure about you anymore. You've become like the epitome of a rebellious teenager, and indignant to boot.
Also, let's refresh your memory a bit here. In response to you saying you didn't ask anything of me...How many times did you ask me not to tell my father you were sneaking around behind his back, calling your boyfriend all the time? You asked me not to tell him you took the girls and went to Missouri to meet a man who, for all we knew, could have been a crazy psycho killer and you were walking into your death? Do you even understand the amount of lies you've asked me to keep from my father? Do you understand the pain I went through? When you went to Missouri, did you even have any idea how you were breaking my heart? How much it was destroying me?
And if you did, did you even care? Or were you too absorbed in your own wants and desires?
But ya know what, its good you're living the dream. Please, keep enjoying yourself.
And on a side note: Daddy knows now, so I don't have to keep anything a secret. Don't expect me to, or even ask me to.
And please, throw in my face how I was unfaithful to Chance once. But the difference is, I feel bad for what I did. I made myself miserable for 2 years because of it. And you, you're reveling in what you did. You have no remorse for hurting my dad in any way.
And, to end this, I want to say I love you. And that's the reason i'm going through all this, the reason I've continually let myself be hurt by you. Wedding or no wedding, I just want my old mother back. I miss her so much. You were my best friend, I could tell you anything. We were so close.
I love you, Mommy.
Her Again:
Ashli there are somethings a parent doesn't tell their children, because they just don't need to know. Thats the difference between a parent and their child. I made my mistakes but didn't share them with everyone. I didn't abandand you or your sisters. You forget I was close to Stephanie and when we lost her, I did go a little nuts..only because ... See MoreI couldn't allways be strong for everyone, you were taken the baby to your in laws and such and living your life as I wanted you to do. I wanted to be independant and not have to answer to you or anyone else for that matter because there should only be one judge and jury of me when the time comes.
One person cannot do everything and be everywhere that they need to be all the time. Sometimes they just need some private time or quiet time..of which you ALL denied me of.
I finally figured you all were old enough and adult enough to let you be the people you were going to be.
But you should understand this..I never ment to hurt anyone or say anything to do so...cause if my actions had not effected me would I have not lost so much weight, and gotten sick with ulsers. But you wouldn't know that.
What goes one between me and your dad is just that between us. Im sorry i asked you to keep your silence on what you knew that it was wrong of me.
Yes i told your dad and we talked things out, we didn't air it on face book nor did I air anything on here to say otherwise. You call my defending myself a selfish act and that I look like an ass... maybe so Ashli but I never attacked you in a way that the world could see. Intent on ripping you appart while pointing out things.
I did call you but you never let me know that you posted you dissappointment in me.. but then you never knew the whole of the abuse that I suffered the first time around but its in the past just where its ment to be..but I took care of you and your sisters...never giving into the hurt i suffered that you will never know.
I admit im not the perfect mom nor will I ever be, my actions are mine alone in the fact i was always doing what I thought was right at the time and what everyone else wanted me to do..
I hardly let you girls see any hurt..only smiles and happyness...
Kido if you really talked to me I listened and such..but did you ever listen to me?? I will allways love you and your sisters as well as your dad..I always tried to do my best..but as you so wellly pointed out it wasn't good at all...
I do love you Ashli, I gave birth to you, and one day when your my age you will understand some things that you really can't or don't want to....and you will see things differently...
I can only take so much from the ones I love throwing names at me and saying things out in public for so long and still smile for people.
Im sorry I was such a bad parent and did what I did...But ya know what it made me happy weather it was good or bad. I have no regrets for any of my ACTIONS...on the regret of hurting others including myself...and that its all been aired on a public web site.
So i guess im not an angle anymore that my hornes showed all along.
love your mother
Your dad bought the shoes for me! and the Wow stuff. Your the one who moved up there away from me!! I didn't do shit to you..but you know what...I don't know you anymore ashli...and I don't think I really want to. Cause a child doens't turn on the parent..no matter what. What the fuck did I do to you to make you wish things like this?? oh and I ... See Morebeleave you and chance whent to the commic book convention..and the movies and such..oh and wait Shalyla never wants for anything...and I beleave you got the wow things as well...and even asked me to get you some stuff. then you trun on me like this... NO!! You will not control me with guild and your words...deeds speak louder and I did have the cake ready to be made..as a suprise..but you told me someone else was making it...you didn't ask for HELP from me...YOU LET OTHERS HELP YOU AND THEN ATTACK ME...SO PISS OFF KID...CAUSE IM BEYOND HURT BY YOU.
If you need me you can reach me through your sisters..but as of now...im BEYOND DONE WITH YOU!!!
i DID NOT RAISE A SEFLISH BITCH...I raised a beautiful loving careing daughter or so I thought. You want another mother...you can have one..I never knew how much you HATED ME!! till now....gee maybe i did do my job as a parent!
She also responded to something else i posted, which was basically a REALLY short version of the first post. I'll post them here.
Me:
Well, I saw this coming...I know my Mother only too well. She put off getting the bridesmaids dresses for soo long that when she finally went she couldn't find anything to fit Jacki, and black was all she could find for Keeli. So, it breaks my heart, but if I actually have my wedding this year, it looks like my sisters... won't be my bridesmaids. I'm going to go cry for a few hours now...
Her:
Thank you Ashli...for pointing out my faults because ur up set.. But if you will recall, I had to have the MONEY to get the dresses! Yes it is your day, but ya know once in a while your heart needs to be broken. Never mind the times that i have given and done for you. Oh maybe those times don't count!! I spent a year driving you to collage to make... See More sure you went only to have you play WOW during class, and then to drop out!! Just cause you had a baby! Never mind the fact that I have devoted my life to you AND your sisters and given you each the best I can! Sorry its not good enough!! It would seem that Im not a good enough parent to suit you or anyone else!!..Im sick and tired of you pointing out bad things about me!! Maybe if you looked into a mirror one day you would realize that most everything I did in life was for you! Not ONCE ASKING for anything in return other than to respect me as a parent and use a little understand at times and to know that I would do all that I can to help you or anyone else for that matter....AND now your sister need 1500.00 worth of dentle work done..and I have no clue about the other one yet. So give me a break!! I am doing the best I can!! And kido if its not good enough..to bad I at least know I tried!! Im sorry Im such a disapointment to you your stepdad your real dad, your gmaw...but walk a day in my shoes and see how long you last!! Life isn't allways going to go YOUR way!! Oh and you don't think your sisters wern't hurt that they couldnt' find anything that fit!! We tried little girl, but you wen't there to see them cry cause nothing fit or was the right color. Oh and if your not sure about a wedding then WHY all the cussing at me over things huh?!? I told you i would do what i could AND I haven't given up yet..but as usual you gave up on me. Best thing i can tell you at this moment...GET OVER IT!!! AND quit accusing me of ruining things for you!!
Me Again:
for the record, if I walked a day in your shoes, I WOULDN'T BE SCREWING THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. If you want to throw out our dirty laundry for all to see, let's do it. But the difference between you and me: I have some self-respect not to fucking flaunt that i'm screwing around on my husband. Make me look bad all you want. Say whatever the ... See Morehell you want to say about me. I lost all respect for you the day HE rolled into town and you stopped loving my Daddy. How can I respect someone who has no respect for themselves? What kind of example are you setting for my sisters? For me?
If you had a problem with what I said, you should have called and talked to me about it, not made yourself look like an ass on facebook. But, I'm sure, you're completely missunderstood.
Oh, and on another note, what's my dropping out of college have anything to do with this? I didn't drop out, because I plan to go back, but at least I went. I have an Assoc. degree, so I did decently well for myself. But, recall this, Mother, half the time I didn't go to work or class was because you didn't feel like driving me. Yeah, there were times when i didn't feel good, when I didn't feel like going, but there were more times I sat in my room and cried because I wanted to go and you wouldn't take me. So, in all honesty, we're both to blame for my college (or lack of) education. Maybe its my fault for not teaching myself to drive, getting a job during high school so I could buy myself a car, stuff like that. But I was dependent on you to be the mother I needed, and half the time you were, but there were so times you weren't, especially near the end.
When you had your mid-life crisis and decided to become 'young' and popular and whatnot, you stopped being there for all of us, unless you had to be. You've been slowly withdrawing from our family for the last 2-3 years now. We miss the mom we had. You were a wonderful mother, one of the best...And now...Now, i'm not sure about you anymore. You've become like the epitome of a rebellious teenager, and indignant to boot.
Also, let's refresh your memory a bit here. In response to you saying you didn't ask anything of me...How many times did you ask me not to tell my father you were sneaking around behind his back, calling your boyfriend all the time? You asked me not to tell him you took the girls and went to Missouri to meet a man who, for all we knew, could have been a crazy psycho killer and you were walking into your death? Do you even understand the amount of lies you've asked me to keep from my father? Do you understand the pain I went through? When you went to Missouri, did you even have any idea how you were breaking my heart? How much it was destroying me?
And if you did, did you even care? Or were you too absorbed in your own wants and desires?
But ya know what, its good you're living the dream. Please, keep enjoying yourself.
And on a side note: Daddy knows now, so I don't have to keep anything a secret. Don't expect me to, or even ask me to.
And please, throw in my face how I was unfaithful to Chance once. But the difference is, I feel bad for what I did. I made myself miserable for 2 years because of it. And you, you're reveling in what you did. You have no remorse for hurting my dad in any way.
And, to end this, I want to say I love you. And that's the reason i'm going through all this, the reason I've continually let myself be hurt by you. Wedding or no wedding, I just want my old mother back. I miss her so much. You were my best friend, I could tell you anything. We were so close.
I love you, Mommy.
Her Again:
Ashli there are somethings a parent doesn't tell their children, because they just don't need to know. Thats the difference between a parent and their child. I made my mistakes but didn't share them with everyone. I didn't abandand you or your sisters. You forget I was close to Stephanie and when we lost her, I did go a little nuts..only because ... See MoreI couldn't allways be strong for everyone, you were taken the baby to your in laws and such and living your life as I wanted you to do. I wanted to be independant and not have to answer to you or anyone else for that matter because there should only be one judge and jury of me when the time comes.
One person cannot do everything and be everywhere that they need to be all the time. Sometimes they just need some private time or quiet time..of which you ALL denied me of.
I finally figured you all were old enough and adult enough to let you be the people you were going to be.
But you should understand this..I never ment to hurt anyone or say anything to do so...cause if my actions had not effected me would I have not lost so much weight, and gotten sick with ulsers. But you wouldn't know that.
What goes one between me and your dad is just that between us. Im sorry i asked you to keep your silence on what you knew that it was wrong of me.
Yes i told your dad and we talked things out, we didn't air it on face book nor did I air anything on here to say otherwise. You call my defending myself a selfish act and that I look like an ass... maybe so Ashli but I never attacked you in a way that the world could see. Intent on ripping you appart while pointing out things.
I did call you but you never let me know that you posted you dissappointment in me.. but then you never knew the whole of the abuse that I suffered the first time around but its in the past just where its ment to be..but I took care of you and your sisters...never giving into the hurt i suffered that you will never know.
I admit im not the perfect mom nor will I ever be, my actions are mine alone in the fact i was always doing what I thought was right at the time and what everyone else wanted me to do..
I hardly let you girls see any hurt..only smiles and happyness...
Kido if you really talked to me I listened and such..but did you ever listen to me?? I will allways love you and your sisters as well as your dad..I always tried to do my best..but as you so wellly pointed out it wasn't good at all...
I do love you Ashli, I gave birth to you, and one day when your my age you will understand some things that you really can't or don't want to....and you will see things differently...
I can only take so much from the ones I love throwing names at me and saying things out in public for so long and still smile for people.
Im sorry I was such a bad parent and did what I did...But ya know what it made me happy weather it was good or bad. I have no regrets for any of my ACTIONS...on the regret of hurting others including myself...and that its all been aired on a public web site.
So i guess im not an angle anymore that my hornes showed all along.
love your mother
More Disappointment....
My Mother...Where do I even begin??
She's an almost constant disappointment now...I begged her for months, was constantly calling and asking her...She blamed the girls....Said it was them that didn't wanna go dress shopping...But no, it was her...Why do I even bother with her? She was gonna get the cake made...That's not happening...Susan is making it (God bless her, she's wonderful). Robin has helped with flowers and pretty much everything else. What has Mom done?
She bought 1 black dress...
How do I even begin to explain how wrong that is to me? You shouldn't wear black to a wedding if you're part of the wedding party, unless it's a gothic theme or something. I mean, my colors are pretty, Hot Pink, Chocolate, touches of Ivory (but not many...). Its the same reason you don't wear white unless you're the bride, I mean really??
Thank God I have friends, reliable friends, that are going to help me. They're digging through their closets and finding something, anything, to match my colors and fill-in for my bridesmaids...It might not be a satisfactory wedding, but it'll at least match...
My mother has to be the biggest disappointment in my life...
Not my lack of money, or even my own home. These things should be my biggest disappointments, but no....Its her. IT'S ALWAYS HER.
If its not about her, she either ruins it or makes it about her! I don't understand her...She breaks my heart, and i'm not even sure she cares...What she does to me hurts me so bad. I really feel like she does this on purpose....I just don't know anymore...I don't know what to do about her, what to do about all this...
And, the longer I dwell on this...The more I think maybe it just isn't supposed to happen...Maybe we're not supposed to be married...Maybe its not God's plan...I don't know anymore...i don't know what He wants from me, what I'm supposed to do...Everything is against this wedding...I just don't know anymore...
So later:
Later, Mom calls me to inform me she bought a pair of $120 Shape-Ups, and they're so comfortable I should buy me some (yeah with the money I pull out of my ass, right?). Then she tells me about buying the kids some new clothes and other stuff like that, basically how she spent a bunch of money. In the same conversation she says she doesn't have the money right now to buy dresses for the wedding (yeah cuz she just spent it...). What is she thinking? I mean, really?
And if it wasn't bad enough, she bought pretty much everything at the Blizzard World of Warcraft pet store (Link: http://us.blizzard.com/store/browse.xml?f=c:5,c:33 yeah, its epic). I think that there's something that goes on in her head that normal people can't understand.
I await the day she demands I invite her BOYFRIEND to my wedding...I feel it's coming...I also kinda feel like she might not even ask him and just have him come...And if he does....OH BOY will there be a scene....There will be a shit-fit from Hell. I'll call him and her both out on all her shit and make them both leave, even if I have to call the cops to do it...Sorry, Daddy, this will be the one time I WON'T listen to you...I won't forgive her for that...I'd probably be borderline never speaking to her again...
Man...Why couldn't Robin be my Mom???
She's an almost constant disappointment now...I begged her for months, was constantly calling and asking her...She blamed the girls....Said it was them that didn't wanna go dress shopping...But no, it was her...Why do I even bother with her? She was gonna get the cake made...That's not happening...Susan is making it (God bless her, she's wonderful). Robin has helped with flowers and pretty much everything else. What has Mom done?
She bought 1 black dress...
How do I even begin to explain how wrong that is to me? You shouldn't wear black to a wedding if you're part of the wedding party, unless it's a gothic theme or something. I mean, my colors are pretty, Hot Pink, Chocolate, touches of Ivory (but not many...). Its the same reason you don't wear white unless you're the bride, I mean really??
Thank God I have friends, reliable friends, that are going to help me. They're digging through their closets and finding something, anything, to match my colors and fill-in for my bridesmaids...It might not be a satisfactory wedding, but it'll at least match...
My mother has to be the biggest disappointment in my life...
Not my lack of money, or even my own home. These things should be my biggest disappointments, but no....Its her. IT'S ALWAYS HER.
If its not about her, she either ruins it or makes it about her! I don't understand her...She breaks my heart, and i'm not even sure she cares...What she does to me hurts me so bad. I really feel like she does this on purpose....I just don't know anymore...I don't know what to do about her, what to do about all this...
And, the longer I dwell on this...The more I think maybe it just isn't supposed to happen...Maybe we're not supposed to be married...Maybe its not God's plan...I don't know anymore...i don't know what He wants from me, what I'm supposed to do...Everything is against this wedding...I just don't know anymore...
So later:
Later, Mom calls me to inform me she bought a pair of $120 Shape-Ups, and they're so comfortable I should buy me some (yeah with the money I pull out of my ass, right?). Then she tells me about buying the kids some new clothes and other stuff like that, basically how she spent a bunch of money. In the same conversation she says she doesn't have the money right now to buy dresses for the wedding (yeah cuz she just spent it...). What is she thinking? I mean, really?
And if it wasn't bad enough, she bought pretty much everything at the Blizzard World of Warcraft pet store (Link: http://us.blizzard.com/store/browse.xml?f=c:5,c:33 yeah, its epic). I think that there's something that goes on in her head that normal people can't understand.
I await the day she demands I invite her BOYFRIEND to my wedding...I feel it's coming...I also kinda feel like she might not even ask him and just have him come...And if he does....OH BOY will there be a scene....There will be a shit-fit from Hell. I'll call him and her both out on all her shit and make them both leave, even if I have to call the cops to do it...Sorry, Daddy, this will be the one time I WON'T listen to you...I won't forgive her for that...I'd probably be borderline never speaking to her again...
Man...Why couldn't Robin be my Mom???
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)