This is just driving me crazy. There's just too many people in this house and it's killing me. There's so much going on all the time. There's always something being destroyed by one child or another. They just have to do something to annoy each other constantly. Or they get in trouble, which is almost on a daily basis. This house is cluttered, severely. There's bugs living here with us because they're trying to escape the heat, they're looking for water, or they're trying to get away from the rain (like last night). There was a scorpion in my bedroom last night. That was a real nightmare. I just don't know if I can continue living with so many people. I wanted to plant a garden out front, but I can't do that because she is going to plant tomatoes... Tomatoes in front of a damn house. That's just too fucking redneck or country or trashy or whatever for me to handle. I mean, who plants tomatoes in front of their house? In a back garden maybe, but not in front of the house.
I can't get a moment's peace either, which is all the more annoying. If I go to my room with Shayla to play quietly and watch movies, the other children keep coming in there, which irritates Shay and she yells at them to get out and they don't listen and eventually she closes the door, and then he keeps opening it to peek in. I'd have to lock us in the bedroom. He throws her toys all over the living room and makes huge messes. He's just way too damn hyperactive for me to tolerate. He's a sweet kid but I really cannot handle all the running and yelling and misbehaving.
The other night, he got into a cabinet he's not supposed to get into and he tore up all of chance's carbon-copy things for his check books. Before that he ripped up several of Shayla's Disney princess board books. He steals my sodas, cans, cups or bottles, doesn't matter. He steals them and drinks them and hides them. We have to keep some of Shayla's toys put up (Barbies and dolls and fragile toys) because if he gets a hold of them he will destroy them. Shayla can't have any of her books. Our DVDs have to be put away because he will either break them getting them out or he will scratch them up once he has them out.
I desperately need my own place to live. I can't cook what I want to when I want to because the kitchen is a giant clusterfuck. If I clean up, there will be a mess again in 5 minutes. It's just chaos.
I really, truly can't stand chaos.
