My Life Has Become an Edgar Allan Poe Short Story Anthology

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be crazy by the end of the week. Shayla, the dog, and myself all will be, actually. We're here 24 hours a day, with this STUPID FREAKING FRIDGE that's making this absolutely god-awful squealing, grating, grinding noise, with maybe 5-10 minute break in between bouts of attempting to drive me insane.
Basically, the motor for the freezer is dying. It was stopped, but the apartment manager repairman guy came and beat on it and then it started working again. He ordered a new motor, and said he'd replace this one when it dies, because it's on its last leg. Now, a week or two later, it has started making these sounds. It is most disturbingly awful when it goes high-pitched. It's been doing this on and off for about 3 days, but today is the first day it's been almost constant. I'm starting to feel like the man from "The Tell-Tale Heart", who constantly hears the beating of the heart under the floorboards. Except my noise is actually real, though no less insanity-inducing. I think it's even started to bother the man upstairs, because every time it gets louder he stomps on the floor, as if I have some ability to silence the horrible noises my poor, dying refrigerator makes.
Its like I have my own personal soundtrack of creepy, weird music. -.-
To top it off, for about 3 hours today, a bird was going crazy outside my front door, bouncing on it and scratching it to hell and back. He kept trying to get inside, i'm not sure why, because he didn't resemble a tame bird. He was a little brown puffball type, very cute. (You have NO IDEA how glad I was that it wasn't a black bird. I would have freaked.) It didn't leave any marks but the sound of his sharp little talons scraping along the front door made it feel as if I was trapped in my own person nightmare.
Poor Minnie couldn't decide if she wanted to bark at everything, every time it made a sound, or just hide somewhere, so she alternated. She'd run to the door and bark once at the bird, which would make the bird stop for about 5 minutes, and then she'd run to the fridge and stare at it, whining. Occasionally she'd bark at the fridge as well. Then she'd run and hide in my bedroom, just to come back 20 minutes later and do it all over again. Currently, she's laying on the couch beside me, occasionally whining.
Shayla doesn't seem bothered by the noise unless she has to go to the bathroom. When she's in the bathroom, or on the way there, she hollers at the fridge to "shut up!" and says "I hate you! You're driving me crazy!" For a while she went in there and yelled at it "My mommy doesn't like you! Stop making that noise!" which was kind of funny, to me. Right now, Shay is laying in a corner, between some boxes, watching 'Go Diego Go' (which also drives me crazy. I hate that show. We've watched it waaaay too many times.).
I need to figure out something to do to block out the noise, but I'm going to have Chance go talk to them tomorrow, with a recording of the sound I made on my phone, and tell them that i'm about to go crazy, and either the motor gets replaced or i throw the fridge out the door.

More Baby Names

So, as it turns out, i'm pregnant finally! I'm super excited about it, and I've been compiling a list of baby names, and as it turns out, I have quite a few choices. I'm pretty sure there's only gonna be one baby, but I've thought of Twins names too. Just in case.

::Boy::

-Everett Michael
Vincent
/Victor
-Jarod Dakota
/Lucas
/Brendon
-Baine
-Caden
-Gavin 
-Cedric
-Noah
-Rowen
-Fagen
/Flynn
Flynt
-Gareth
-Grady/Graidy
/Kane
Kale
Kenneth
Declan
Logan
Emmett
Devlan
Rhonin Ronin Rownin
Evan
Arthur
Alexandre
Dristan
Tristan
Adam
William
Anthony
Griffin
Soren
James Kyle
Brenndon Lucas
Alcide

::Girl::

Alyssa Noel
Ingrid Sophia
Aeriella
Calista
Calissa
Calypso
Gwyndolyn
Veressa
Vanessa
Veronica**
Natasha
Francesca
Cecilia
Temperance
Fallon
Faelee/Faylee/Faylea
Cadence
Cael
Caylee
Caetlynn/Caitlyn
Carlyn
Laycee
Leianna
Leylana
Danielle 
Daicy
Diedre
Delancy
Delainey
Elaine
Eaden
Evelyn
Alice
Addison
Madison
Chloe
Charlotte
Katherine
Gabrielle 
Persephone
Annicka
Katarina
Katrina
Isobel
Roxanna
Samantha Dyane

Luna

Boy/Girl Names:

Bailey  
Carmen
Cary
Casey
Cassidy
Reagen
Reilly
Keegan
Kennedy
Keylen
Dorian
Elisha

For the Twins:

1. Gwyndolyn Natasha Dobbs
Garrett Michael Dobbs*

2. Veronica Gale Dobbs*
Victor Everett Dobbs

2. Vanessa Michelle Dobbs 
Vincent Everett Dobbs

4. Brianna Lynn Dobbs
Brendon Lucas Dobbs*

5. Cecilia Gael Dobbs
Caden Garrett Dobbs*

**6. Cassidy Gael Dobbs
Cedric Lucas Dobbs

7. Lydia Gael Dobbs*
Lucas Everett Dobbs

8. Natasha Gael Dobbs
Nickolas Vincent Dobbs

**9. Laycee Cael Dobbs
Logan Graidy Dobbs

**10. Delainey Cael Dobbs
Declan James Dobbs

**11. Evelyn Cael Dobbs 
Jarod Declan Dobbs

**12. Alice Laycee Dobbs
Jarod Kale Dobbs

13. Alice Cael Dobbs*
Samuel Kale Dobbs

14. Diedre Cadence Dobbs
Dorian Vincent Dobbs*

15. Evelyn Cassidy Dobbs
Vincent Kennedy Dobbs*

**16. Caitlynn Sophia Dobbs
Declan Kale Dobbs

17. Katherine Sophia Dobbs
Anthony Shane Dobbs

18. Chloe Gale Dobbs
Rhonin Kale Dobbs***

19. Kadence Laine Dobbs
Timothy Kale Dobbs

20. Katrina Alice Dobbs
Vincent Lycan Dobbs

21. Harry James Sirius Dobbs

Do you have any favorites?

Our New Apartment Walkthrough (Pics Later)

Written Walkthrough of New Apartment

When u walk in, the living room is big and there's a window/bar into the kitchen. The living room has a big window and it's bright. The kitchen has nice storage space and a dishwasher. It's small but I like it. The side with the window has the stove, so I can see Shay (and the tv, lol) and the door from the kitchen when I'm cooking. The sink is directly across from the stove and the dishwasher is in that corner beside it. There's also a small pantry to the left of the sink in the other corner on that wall. The fridge is across from the dishwasher in that corner. There's a phone jack right by the kitchen window thing.

The door to the kitchen opens to the dining room which partially opens to the living room. I'm thinking about hanging a curtain there later, because the dining room will be Shayla's bedroom/toy room, since the apartment is only 2 bedroom. That area is tiled and the opening is about the width of a regular doorway, and we will be getting a child gate to put up while we are asleep so Shayla can't get near the front door (where we will also be putting a lock higher up out of her reach.)

Off the dining room, there is a tiny hall and the doors to the 2 bedrooms and the half bath. There is doors in both the bathrooms that lead to the shower in between. I'm going for a chocolate/teal theme on the bathrooms, but Jordan wants to decorate his own, which I'm not fond of, because that's the one that people will use when they visit, so they don't have to walk through mine and chances room to go and I really wanted to carry the chocolate/teal theme in both cuz it's pretty and soothing and eye pleasing. Also I think he wants to do an A&M maroon/red and white theme which I don't like, cuz red invokes hostility.

Both bedrooms have roomy closets and windows facing the front door area (good if someone shows up knocking while we are asleep and we wanna see who it is before answering). The master closet has a little cubbyhole hole thing, about as wide as my shoulders and I will probably use it to stack boxes outta the way or something cuz I'm not sure what else would go there unless we could make like shoe shelves or something. We will also need to get a mobile clothes rack or something for hanging Shays clothes because she won't have a closet.

Both bathrooms have a sink and toilet. The mirror is a medicine cabinet and there is room under the sink for storage. I have 2 door shoe hangers which will probably go on the closet and bathroom doors. Our bed will go against the far wall (because I like sleeping against a wall, I dunno why) and our dresser will go against the inside wall, most likely with our tv on it.

We are gonna put some sorta shoe rack by the front door so when we come in we can take our shoes off before they get anything all over the carpet.

I can't wait to get it all set up. I'm gonna take pics before anything gets in there and then 'in progress' pictures as we set it up and over time as we buy little things to decorate and whatnot.

I hope all my friends will be able to visit us there one day!!

It's Not Chance's Fault!!

Everyone blames Chance for our current living arrangement. They say he needs a better-paying job, he needs to support his family better, he needs to take responsibility. I wish people would step back, look at the situation, and point the fingers at who's really to blame: his Mother. She is the one who came in here and took the house that we paid for for 3 years right out from under us, ruining our next 3 years of planning. If we had had a contract she wouldn't be able to do that, she'd have owed us money or something. We were trying to have a second child, and now if we did we have nowhere to put it. We had all these plans and ideas for the house, and when they finally started moving her stuff out suddenly it all falls through and they move back in and just shove us outta the way, hide us in a tiny bedroom with all our belongings, to get us outta their way. They didn't give a shit that they ruined our planning, dashed our hopes, and basically kicked us out. They want us to move completely out of here, to live in a run-down trailer that has been infested by cats and rats and various other critters, with their feces everywhere and moldy floors we could eventually fall through with daily use.
She doesn't care that she has come in and moved us out of our way. She shoves my things to the back of the cabinets to fill them with her things. She can't keep her son out of our stuff, forcing us to hide things in our room in an effort to save us money since she won't replace anything he steals or breaks. She breaks my dishes and doesn't tell me, choosing to let me believe it's just lost. She ruins my pans and cookie sheets, letting them sit with disgusting, moldy food until it becomes easier to throw them out than clean them and hope the rust isn't permanent. She has no respect for me as an adult and consistently undermines my authority with my own daughter, getting to a point where it's easier to lock us in our room. They have pretty much taken over our wii to a point where we can't watch what we want when they are in the room or can gear it where ever they happen to be, and we have to wait until they go to bed to watch it at all.
Chance keeps telling me to be mindful of what I say when shes in the house, because she can hear us even when she's asleep, so I pretty much cannot voice my opinion on anything, because he doesn't want to ripple the water. I keep telling him we have a tidal wave coming and the dam he's built isn't going to hold it back long, but we have no other options. I'm not even allowed to vent my frustrations online, for fear something gets back to his mother. Hell, he will probably tell me I can't do it on my phone either, because she might one day find it and go through my phone, and then confront us with her apparent 'notepad of doom'.
They are expecting us to pay the phone bill, the power bill, and a portion of the rent every month, but want to keep us cramped into one small bedroom. The kitchen is utterly destroyed every night with so many dirty dishes and pots and pans and expect us to clean up after them.

I'm an Adult, Too!!

She doesn't even have the respect for me as an adult to confront me directly about any arising issues, but rather, she talks to Chance about her problems with me, much like a parent discussing their issues with a fellow parent's child, expecting them to handle the situation.

I know I am aggressive in this situation, but it's because at this point, I feel as if I have no control over my life, over anything at present. Everything is out of my hands and I'm not even allowed an opinion on it. When I do voice my opinion in public, I get in trouble with my husband, as if I am a child. I feel like no one has any respect for me as an adult, and the safest thing for me to do is lock myself in my room, much like an insolent teenager. It's almost easier to surrender and continue being treated as a child versus making futile attempts at being an adult. I don't even get a say over what is watched on television when anyone else is in the room.

I know if I continue to act like an insolent teenager I will continue to be treated as such, but even when I make attempts to act like an adult people still continue to treat me as they would someone younger, or more child-like, then themselves. I'm not sure anyone, even my own husband, sees me as an adult.

Everyone says when you act like a child, you get treated like a child. I know some of my actions are childish or immature (like taking down all of our pictures in the living room, even though we know she'll either do it herself or ask us to eventually anyway) but I felt I was just acting preemptively, not childishly.

It doesn't matter; no one cares what I do, say, or think anyway.

A Ranting on My Current (Horribly Unfair) Living Situation

I want my own place where I can have friends and family over and some other person isn't embarrassed at the state of the house or inconvenienced because there are guests they didn't invite and/or want here. I want to be able to have candles burning and not have to worry about a child messing with the flames because my child knows better but other children aren't as behaved as mine. I want to be able to have my scented oil plug ins without fear of a child messing with it or pouring them out. I want to not have to worry about putting pants on or covering up when I exit my bedroom because there would be no one to be offended by my pantslessness. I want my daughter to have her own room with her own bed that we can decorate however we want and it not interfere with anyone else's wants or desires. I want Shayla to be able to play with her toys wherever she wants in the house without fear of them getting lost in or mixed up with another child's toys. Shayla should be allowed to have her tent or tents set up and able to play whenever she wants without interfering with or getting in the way of anyone else. I want my own kitchen that no one messes with or cooks in but me. I don't want to worry about not having cleaned the kitchen the night before and it interfering with someone else. I want to have my own decorations and my own furniture in my living room. I want to watch what I want, when I want on my tv without worrying about someone else's opinion on my show and the effects of the show on other peoples children. I'm an adult, I should be able to do as I wish in my own home without worrying about upsetting another adult who thinks they are my parent when they aren't nor have they any right to attempt to parent me. The way I live my life and raise my child is no one's business but my own and my husband's. It shouldn't affect anyone besides us, and no one has a right to interfere in that process. Our elders make suggestions, due to their experience and knowledge on child rearing, but we have the right to not follow their suggestions and raise our child our own way. If I wanna spend all day sitting on my butt playing on the computer and playing with Shayla and not doing anything around the house, I should be able to without judgement from others (aside from my husband).