Hostility

It is a rare occasion that you see me openly hostile to anyone. Generally, I am a nice person. I've forgiving (to an extent) and if I'm rude, which I can be, i'm well aware, it is usually for very acceptable reasons. But, in the event I've been openly hostile to someone, so hostile that my words dripped poison into their soul, that their tears bled from my verbal wounds, it should be a clear sign to NEVER, EVER speak to me again. That is the kind of idiocy that can cause people to do crazy things. That can infuriate people so strongly that they radiate an incredibly strong, red, evil aura. the kind of freaky Carrie-type shit.

At this current moment, I'm pretty sure i'm angry enough that I can send my fist through a brick wall.

I have been openly hostile to the man my mother is seeing. I would say it is behind my father's back, but he's aware of the situation. So its weird, and freaky, and I think it's most definitely the worst thing my mother has ever done. She doesn't consider the pain she's putting her family through, and she doesn't even know that this man will love her and want her 5 years from now. Hell, 2 years from now. So I think it's a big mistake.

But, apparently, this man feels that, as long as he's in my mother's life, he's free to be in her children's lives as well. The big roadblock I erected that reads "MEN WHO SLEEP WITH MARRIED WOMEN AND ATTEMPT TO STEAL THEM FROM THEIR NICE, COMFORTABLE, HAPPY LIVES BY MAKING THEM THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER AND THAT THERE'S SOMETHING THEY CAN GET FROM YOU THAT THEIR HUSBANDS CAN'T GIVE THEM SHOULD TURN BACK AT ONCE. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. PLEASE LEAVE!!" was apparently not a clue-in for him.

He wanted to congratulate me on my wedding and on how beautiful my daughter is (which, oddly, bothers me, seeing as for all I know about him, he could have been a child molester before he met my mother).

His action that has set me on a murderous rampage was kind, however, so I'm trying to tone down my anger. I decided to not speak to him, since he was being nice, to spare him from any whiplash or anger I cannot contain. Maybe, in an hour when I've calmed down and I can speak, I might do the right thing and tell the bastard thank you. However, I'm sure I'll mentally add "go die" at the end.

I take comfort in the fact that he doesn't feel what he has done is sinful, so he doesn't feel the need to seek forgiveness. I wish he would, so he could set about on a path of righteousness, and stop fucking married women, but I don't see this happening, so I take solace in the fact that I won't be seeing him in the afterlife.

My only other comfort is that we do not play on the same WoW server, and he doesn't know my e-mail to add me as a friend, because if he did, I doubt i'd be able to choke down my rage. I keep him on my facebook friends list because I want my mother to think i'm trying, that I'm being nice, and when he does something that makes me angry, I do her the courtesy of not speaking to him or her, to spare their feelings.

I think that's the nicest thing I can do for them.

Every little thing...

It seems like everything is driving me crazy right now...I'm so tired of all this. It seems like every time I turn around something else is pissing me off. My bro-in-law's GF uses our shampoos and soaps when she shouldn't. She showers here when she's got her own house. She should like, pay for water, or at least bring her own fucking shampoo. I dunno. It's just nutzo. Sort of rude in my opinion. He ate all the hubby's ice cream and attempted to replace it, but Chance like, I dunno what happened, actually. But Bro seems frustrated, so I can only assume chance snapped at him. I'm losing my temper with Shayla, which scares me, and I want to send her away from me because I'm scared I'll slap her or something. I'm trying to back up my iPhone and people won't stop calling me. It erased itself once. I dunno. I'm just frustrated and angry. Every time I type a sentence in this blog I get interrupted and I'm losing my train of thought so easily. I need to vent, I need to relieve my frustration somehow. I want to say I hate my life, but I don't. FML is probably a better term, a better thing to say. I just wanna say fuck it all, I guess. (Phone cancelled backup again. -.-)

anyway, I guess i'm just gonna give up trying to blog and update my phone, and just go play wow...